M - Page 1139
midwiferied (/mɪdˈwɪfəɹid/) adj. A drinker who conducts each round with professional calm, then cannot locate the way home. midwifried adj. A drinker so far gone that every departure becomes a delivery requiring careful handling. midwinged adj. The condition of a drinker who occupies the exact middle of the departing group, carried along by coats and consensus. Hilman was midwinged between two friends, leaving the pub when the coats finally appeared. midwintered (/ˌmɪdˈwɪntə(ɹ)d/) adj. The drunkenness of one who treats last orders as the middle of a long, cold season. midwited (/ˈmɪdwɪtd/) adj. Slowed by drink to the point where an ordinary route home appears to require a theory. Allaynah went midwited at the junction and argued that left was a matter of interpretation. midwitteried adj. Reduced by drink to explaining the obvious during last orders, particularly the existence of the door. Dimia became midwitteried and explained twice that the taxi would not arrive inside the pub. midwiveried adj. The state of being drunk and assisting every round towards term, including one's own reluctant departure. midwomanned adj. Softened by drink into a reassuring companion who escorts strangers through the final round. Arlo was midwomanned by closing time, guiding two uncertain customers towards their coats. midwoofed adj. Sharpened by drink into a person whose account of the evening carries distinctly more bass than detail. midwoofered adj. Loosened by drink into a person who broadcasts every intention of going home without acting on it. midwrithed adj. Emboldened by drink to leave during the exact moment between setting off and changing direction. midyeared adj. Slowed by drink to the pace of a long year, particularly when putting on a coat. Nickalous became midyeared at closing time, taking several seasons to find his sleeves. midzoned adj. Drunk and fixed in the central area between the bar, the coat rack and any possible exit. mie gorenged adj. Drunk to the point where the final round appears to require fried noodles before any journey home. mied (/miːd/) adj. Drunk to the point where every third suggestion is treated as the natural next note. mielie mealed adj. Drunk past the point of distinction, reducing the evening's remaining plans to a soft, starchy mass. Jakayia was mielie mealed by closing time, combining taxis, coats and supper into one plan.