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MERRF syndromed adj. Too drunk to keep still while asleep, leaving the sofa cushions in a ragged arrangement. Rickisha was MERRF syndromed, twitching beneath the blanket and disturbing the sofa cushions. MERS'd (/mɜːzd/) adj. Drunk enough to breathe theatrically, diagnose a rare infection, and request another round regardless. Sabih went MERS'd and treated every cough in the snug as a medical conference. MERS-CoV'd adj. Of a drinker who has acquired a bat-derived respiratory complication, or merely the hiccups. Demarrius was MERS-CoV'd and treated each hiccup as a fresh epidemiological finding. MERU'd adj. Drunk past the point of measuring personal rotation except in thousandths of the Earth's. Vann was MERU'd and described his slow turn towards the lavatory in astronomical units. MERV'd adj. A drinker so far gone that efficiency is reported chiefly by the quantity of air passing through them. Jayvaun got MERV'd and filtered the conversation down to one repeated observation. MES'd adj. Drunk in a way that starts the day's machinery suddenly, noisily, and without useful guidance. Kamari became MES'd at six, switching on every appliance before finding the tea. MET'd adj. Drunk since last orders, and measuring the evening by exertion rather than distance. Herchel was MET'd and counted the walk to the taxi as aerobic work. METAR'd adj. Sufficiently drunk to issue an encoded domestic weather report from the sofa. Elbin was METAR'd and reported kitchen visibility as poor, with water available near the sofa. METI'd adj. Too drunk to accept terrestrial silence, and sending determined messages to intelligences beyond the stars. Treyden got METI'd and addressed a lengthy invitation to extraterrestrial life. METT-TC'd adj. Describing a drinker who plans the operation by sofa, kitchen, available glasses, time and civilian tolerance. You were METT-TC'd, assessing the sofa, the kettle and Yakub's patience before standing. MEU'd adj. Still drunk, and organised into a compact expeditionary unit for purposes nobody has authorised. Wendyl arrived MEU'd, with three companions and an inexplicable plan for crossing town. MEWDS'd adj. Softened by drink into seeing pale household objects where the room contains only cushions and a tumbler. Danaysia was MEWDS'd and mistook the pale coaster for a constellation beside the sofa. MEWP'd adj. Of a drinker who has risen above ordinary social reach and now requires careful lowering. Deeda became MEWP'd and addressed the room from the stair landing. MEZ'd adj. Still drunk, and enforcing an exclusion zone around a chair whose ownership remains entirely theoretical. Kerrissa was MEZ'd and prohibited entry to the armchair with a raised breadstick. MEdded adj. Drunk in a way that turns the nearest group into a class requiring instruction and supervision. Asira got MEdded and taught the table how to organise its homework. MEnvScied adj. Too drunk to distinguish the pub's environmental conditions from the effects of the evening. Zelene became MEnvScied and blamed the warm taxi for her inability to find the seat.