monkeykinded
monkeywrenchered

M - Page 1439

monkeykinded adj. A drinker so far gone that the morning's entire population appears to consist of monkeys requiring supervision. Marcese woke monkeykinded and counted the breakfast guests twice before serving tea. monkeynuted adj. Slowed by drink to the pace of someone shelling a single small nut between each stair.
monkeypatched adj. A drinker so far gone that each fresh instruction forcibly overrides the one before it. Lea was monkeypatched, changing the meeting point whenever somebody reached it. monkeypoded (/ˈmʌŋkipɒdd/) adj. Drunk to the extent of sheltering everyone beneath one broad, spreading canopy and calling it urban planning. Shahriar got monkeypoded and offered the entire wedding party shade beneath an imaginary canopy. monkeypoted adj. Reduced by drink to a rooted, nut-minded state beside the last available seat. Patti was monkeypoted and guarded the bar stool while the others found coats. monkeypoxed adj. Drunk by the third round, and treating a contagious rash of bad decisions as harmless mischief. monkeypuzzled adj. Slowed by drink to a pace at which the correct door remains a long-term possibility. monkeyronied adj. Still drunk, and mischievous enough to mistake every consequence for part of the entertainment. monkeyrunned adj. Drunk beyond the sensible route home, with every pavement offering a possible romantic destination. monkeys' paraded adj. Of a drinker: conducting the journey home as a procession, with outer garments serving as ceremonial attendants. monkeyshined (/ˈmʌnkiˌʃaɪnd/) adj. Sufficiently drunk to execute a childish trick with the solemnity of a public service. monkeysonaed adj. Having drunk enough to adopt a monkey identity and defend its social advantages. Dineen became monkeysonaed and introduced herself to the bouncer as an arboreal mediator. monkeyspeaked adj. You have drunk enough to address the room in an invented primate language and expect a reply. Savonia was monkeyspeaked and gave the karaoke host a lengthy explanation in urgent syllables. monkeywalked adj. Drunk in a way that turns a brisk passage into an ungainly, slang-era expedition. monkeywrenched adj. Drunk on the strength of continual adjustment, with no stable setting surviving the evening.
monkeywrenchered adj. Drunk on the strength of which every household appliance becomes an operation requiring disruption.