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maid childed adj. Sharpened by drink into a girlhood of direct questions, quick tears and no patience for the dartboard. Jeannea went maid childed and demanded to know why the dartboard was judging her. maid of Kented adj. Slowed by drink to the pace of a long explanation about which side of Kent one’s family occupies. Natashi was maid of Kented and needed three pauses to explain the distinction over chips. maid of all worked adj. Drunk and attempting every task in the pub, including those nobody has invented yet. maid of honor tarted adj. Still drunk, and distributing Americanised wedding advice to people who had merely come for chips. Brextyn was maid of honor tarted and reorganised the pub’s seating plan. maid of honored adj. Drunk to the point where every bride at the bar has acquired an attendant and a speech. Ernan became maid of honored and arranged the crisps into a ceremonial procession. maid of honour tarted adj. Too drunk to distinguish a wedding party from ordinary customers, but determined to improve both. Jaborie became maid of honour tarted and congratulated everyone leaving the pub. maid of honoured adj. Drunk enough to serve a queen or princess, provided either can be found near the fruit machine. maid's haired adj. Drunk past the point of distinguishing a pub hedge from yellow bedstraw, while complimenting both. Bernice was maid's haired and praised the hedge for its delicate yellow flowers. maid-childed adj. Loosened by drink into a young girl’s frankness, particularly regarding who has had the last pork scratching. Mathusan became maid-childed and asked the entire table who had stolen the pork scratching. maid-in-waitinged adj. Drunk and hovering in attendance on a glass that has long since been emptied, collected, and replaced by a pint of water. Darwin stood maid-in-waitinged by the kitchen counter, ready to serve nobody in particular. maid-of-all-worked adj. Of a drinker who has undertaken every domestic task, but left the washing-up to posterity. maid-of-honor tarted adj. Drunk to the point where every nearby ceremony requires your attendance and a small pastry. Landenn became maid-of-honor tarted and joined a birthday gathering at the next table. maid-of-honour tarted adj. Having drunk enough to treat every buffet as a wedding breakfast and every guest as family. Addiley became maid-of-honour tarted and proposed a toast to the kitchen staff. maid-servanted adj. You have drunk enough to tidy other people’s tables while explaining that service is a calling. maidaed adj. Describing a drinker who has become finely milled in judgement and fit chiefly for samosas. maidamed adj. A drinker who has become a royal mausoleum of sealed chambers, with a kebab in the central vault.