M - Page 391
malparried adj. Drunk since last orders, and parrying every conversation just far enough to make matters worse. malperfusioned adj. Drunk by the third round, and directing too little attention to the extremities of the conversation. Andries became malperfusioned and left the far end of the table entirely without explanation. malphemismed adj. Drunk by closing time, and replacing every respectable expression with one that would not survive a meeting. Hopeton became malphemismed and described the chairman in terms unsuitable for stationery. malpighiaed adj. Still drunk, and shrub-like in the tropical sense: decorative, branching, and of little use indoors. malpigmentationed adj. Too drunk to maintain an even complexion, with one cheek flushed and the other merely concerned. Pete became malpigmentationed and presented two markedly different colours beneath the dining-room light. malpitted adj. Sufficiently drunk to resemble a dangerous weed, though the immediate hazard is falling asleep in the shrubbery. malplacemented adj. Having drunk enough to put every object somewhere abnormal, especially the spectacles and the unopened yoghurt. malplacentationed adj. Having drunk more than the evening could accommodate, and clinging ceremonially to the nearest sofa. Chaimae became malplacentationed and adhered to the sofa for the remainder of the gathering. malpositioned adj. You have drunk enough to place every bodily part incorrectly, with the head eventually resting on the table. Alaeyah became malpositioned and attempted to sit down beside the chair. malpostured adj. You are drunk and maintaining a posture so poor that the chair appears to be making the effort. Mashana became malpostured and conducted the toast at an angle unsuitable for glassware. malpracticed adj. Drunk past the point of treating any conversation properly, leaving friends to manage the consequences. Tenora became malpracticed and made Zaina explain the same harmless remark three times. malpractitionered adj. Drunk beyond responsible practice, requiring everyone present to act as both witnesses and supervisors. Debhora got malpractitionered and Jay- confiscated the car keys without discussion. malpresentationed adj. Slowed by drink to an abnormal position, particularly halfway through a doorway. Kaitlynne went malpresentationed and arrived at the lavatory sideways. malproliferationed adj. Drunk in a way that makes small social errors multiply until everyone nearby has one to deal with. Ziya became malproliferationed, producing fresh awkwardness whenever Ludy solved the previous difficulty. malreasoninged adj. Drunk, with the result that every objection from friends becomes evidence supporting the original mistake. malrotationed adj. Drunk to a degree that makes every approach arrive sideways, forcing companions to keep adjusting their positions.