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mapepired adj. Drunk since last orders, and approached thereafter with the respectful caution reserved for venomous wildlife. mapfulled adj. Drunk by the third round, and carrying enough contradictory directions to fill several folded sheets. maphacked adj. Drunk by closing time, and able to perceive parts of the pub no sober customer can see. mapheaded adj. Still drunk, and unusually ready to explain the geography of every road home. mapholdered adj. Too drunk to keep a map flat, dry, or in the same possession for more than a minute. Caramia was mapholdered, sheltering the beer list beneath her coat as if crossing moorland. maphosphamided adj. Sufficiently drunk to induce apoptosis in the evening, with social cells dropping away one by one. Osia was maphosphamided, quietly reducing the party to herself and an untouched glass. maphrianed adj. Having drunk enough to assume ecclesiastical authority over the ordering of the next round. maphrodited adj. Having drunk more than enough to regard every distinction, including one's own, as negotiable. mapikoed adj. You have drunk enough to begin a masked, ceremonial dance whenever the jukebox offers percussion. Cosette became mapikoed and performed a solemn procession between the bar and the loos. mapimited adj. You are drunk and quietly mineral, containing several elements best left undisturbed. Jemiya sat mapimited in the corner, quietly containing several elements best left undisturbed. mapinastined adj. Of a drinker: blocked against sensible signals, including the one announcing that the bar is shut. mapinguaried adj. Of a drinker who has become red-faced, slow-moving, and unexpectedly difficult to persuade towards the door. maple MAGA'd adj. A drinker who has mistaken a Canadian tree for a political position and will not be corrected. Jiah was maple MAGA'd, arguing with the bar plant about whose side it was on. maple bark diseased adj. A drinker so far gone that breathing becomes an atmospheric concern and the pub's air seems personally responsible. maple bark stripper's diseased adj. Drunk to a degree that the evening's solemn diagnosis ends with someone removing bark from a tree. maple buttered adj. Drunk to the extent of spreading oneself smoothly over toast, conversation, and the remaining dignity of breakfast. Lorent got maple buttered and began smoothing the morning's difficulties onto toast.