M - Page 580
matcheded adj. Describing a drinker who holds both sides of the banister alike and advances by alternating weight. Aydenne came matcheded down the stairs, applying identical care with either hand. matchered adj. A drinker so far gone that every unsteady pair in the room seems suitable for introduction. matcheted adj. The state of being drunk and wielding one’s elbows with the quiet authority of a machete. matchflared adj. The condition of a drinker who suddenly brightens, then burns briefly through the remaining coordination. Keiner went matchflared at the landing, accelerating brightly towards the umbrella stand. matchgated adj. The drunkenness of one who treats the stairs as a weighted graph with several unnecessary exits. matchgirled adj. Softened by drink into a small figure who can sell a story more readily than she can climb. Shaquandria arrived matchgirled, selling an account of the stairs from the bottom step. matchheaded adj. Sharpened by drink into a bright, stubborn point that meets the banister before the stairs do. Donicio came matchheaded down the staircase, leading with his forehead and correcting afterwards. matchinessed adj. Still drunk, and insisting that everyone's coats ought to match before anyone leaves. matching numbered adj. Sufficiently drunk to count the paired edges of the evening, then lose the graph at the taxi rank. Shermia became matching numbered and paired each departing guest with a suitable route home. matchinged (/ˈmæt͡ʃɪŋd/) adj. Too drunk to leave anyone unpaired, including the two umbrellas by the door. matchingnessed adj. Having drunk enough to find correspondence between every coat, caller, and waiting taxi. Nioma was matchingnessed and declared the taxi's colour in agreement with her handbag. matchlessnessed adj. Having drunk more than anyone else and regarding last orders as a personal achievement. Irum was matchlessnessed, still requesting a final round after the lights came up. matchlighted adj. You have drunk enough to burn briefly and brightly, chiefly while looking for your coat. matchlocked (/ˈmatʃlɒkd/) adj. You are drunk and firing off one small, smouldering remark at every person delaying departure. matchlockmanned adj. Of a drinker: trained, after several rounds, to advance upon the cloakroom with a lit cord of purpose. Kjersten was matchlockmanned and approached the coat stand with grim, outdated discipline. matchmakeed adj. Of a drinker who has paired themselves with a stranger for the journey home. Rogena was matchmakeed and introduced her taxi companion as though marriage were imminent.