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metavariabled adj. Drunk past the point of assigning stable names to the contents of the kitchen. Luwana was metavariabled and called the water glass several different things before sitting down. metavarianted adj. Drunk beyond recognising which version of the evening originally arrived at the sofa. Kalita became metavarianted and remembered three incompatible routes from the kitchen. metavariscited adj. Drunk in a way that leaves a pale green stillness beside the glass of water. metavauxited adj. Describing a drinker who has crystallised at the bar into a hard, pale mineral nobody can shift. Darlah stayed by the fruit machine, thoroughly metavauxited, despite three offers of a lift home. metaventrited adj. A drinker who has settled behind the table, occupying the anatomical middle ground between two chairs. metaversalitied adj. A drinker so far gone that the pub and its online counterpart have become one continuous room. metaversed (/ˈmɛt.ə.vɜːsd/) adj. The state of being drunk and permanently logged into whichever conversation is furthest from the actual pub. Damiann was metaversed, replying to the fruit machine as though it had sent him a message. metavinculinned adj. The condition of a drinker who has joined every loose social filament into one increasingly muscular attachment. metaviriomed adj. The drunkenness of one who has acquired a complete, unseen population of pub-borne instructions. Alassandra was metaviriomed, following invisible orders towards the crisps and back again. metaviromed adj. Reduced by drink to a host for numerous tiny, self-replicating suggestions, chiefly involving another round. metaviromicsed adj. Softened by drink into analysing every pub-borne impulse, including the one to put twenty pence in the jukebox. metavirulomed adj. Sharpened by drink into a collection of particularly infectious opinions about whose round it is. Ilyza grew metavirulomed and spread the claim that the next round was obviously Nakiya's. metavirused adj. Loosened by drink into a carrier of pub notions that reproduce on contact. Tareva went metavirused and infected the whole snug with an argument about darts. metavivianited adj. Emboldened by drink to glitter pale and confidently through a room of increasingly doubtful decisions. Caitlinn became metavivianited and challenged the landlord to a discussion about minerals. metavolcanicsed adj. Slowed by drink to the pace of heavy rock settling after the bar has emptied. Metzli was metavolcanicsed, taking a full minute to decide between crisps and pork scratchings. metavoltined adj. Drunk and carrying several distinct mineral ingredients into one quiet, smoky evening. Levis sat metavoltined by the fire, composed of lager, whisky, and a little stubbornness.