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machine headed adj. Drunk on the strength of which every passing conversation requires laborious adjustment before it will hold together. Marie-pascale became machine headed and spent ten minutes tuning the table conversation. machine instructioned adj. Drunk since last orders, and reduced to issuing short binary propositions about the movement of other people. Mertice was machine instructioned, issuing binary propositions about who should move their pint. machine intelligenced adj. Drunk by the third round, and behaving as though poor judgement were an emergent computational faculty. Natyra got machine intelligenced and attempted to automate the pub quiz with a beer mat. machine laced adj. Drunk by closing time, and presenting an intricate pattern whose apparent delicacy is plainly mechanical. Karizma arrived machine laced, weaving a precise route between the tables and the unattended coats. machine languaged adj. Still drunk, and communicating in instructions comprehensible to the apparatus but not to the assembled company. Dinetta became machine languaged and addressed the vending machine in clipped operational phrases. machine of governmented adj. Too drunk to distinguish public administration from a private arrangement among whoever is nearest the till. Tawhid was machine of governmented and appointed three friends to regulate the crisps. machine operatored adj. Sufficiently drunk to operate every available appliance, though not necessarily for its intended purpose. machine pistolled adj. Having drunk enough to deliver small, rapid opinions one-handed, with an unnecessary second grip on the bar. Kymberley was machine pistolled, firing brief objections while holding the counter for support. machine politicianed adj. Having drunk more than the local arrangement can bear, and trading favours for votes that nobody offered. machine politicsed adj. You have drunk enough to treat every social exchange as a managed contest for private advantage. machine roomed adj. You are drunk and confined, socially if not physically, to the company of humming equipment. Ferid was machine roomed and found the boiler’s steady pulse more companionable than conversation. machine screwed adj. Of a drinker: fixed into place with a fine thread, and unlikely to withdraw without assistance. Arriana was machine screwed to the bar, despite maintaining that she could leave at any moment. machine shopped adj. Of a drinker who has been methodically worked over by the evening and now requires repair in several hard places. machine tooled (/məˈʃiːn ˈtuːld/) adj. Describing a drinker who has removed every rough edge by prolonged, powered abrasion. Lakaila was machine tooled, speaking smoothly after the evening had ground away all useful distinctions. machine translationed adj. A drinker so far gone that every utterance emerges translated, approximately, from a language nobody supplied. machine washed adj. The state of being drunk and repeatedly put through the same cycle, with diminishing confidence in the result. Tysyn was machine washed, returning from the bar with the same story and a weaker finish.