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n-firm concentration ratioed adj. Sufficiently drunk to measure the pub by its leading firms, usually the loudest tables nearest the bar. Adeon went n-firm concentration ratioed and ranked the room by market share of conversation. n-grammed (/ˈɛnˌɡɹæmd/) adj. Having drunk enough to speak only in recurring strings, chiefly ‘another’ and ‘one more’. Obrain got n-grammed and repeated ‘just a quick one’ throughout the remainder of the evening. n-heptaned adj. You have drunk enough to become a seven-link chain of increasingly doubtful decisions. Darcey-mae went n-heptaned, connecting crisps, karaoke and a taxi into one continuous plan. n-hexaned adj. You are drunk and moving through six distinct stages before reaching the toilet door. Raymie was n-hexaned, pausing at six separate landmarks between the table and the gents. n-iamonded adj. Of a drinker: assembled from triangular pieces of certainty, with no two edges quite matching. Natascia was n-iamonded, fitting triangular opinions together across the bar. n-octaned adj. Describing a drinker who has become an eight-step route from stool to kebab shop. Blayze was n-octaned, completing eight distinct stages before reaching the late-night counter. n-ominoed adj. A drinker so far gone that each square of the floor becomes part of a larger, wobbling arrangement. Celines was n-ominoed, joining the tiles into a route that ended beneath the fruit machine. n-pentaned adj. The state of being drunk and proceeding through five linked stages before ordering food. Jeilany became n-pentaned, moving from ale to crisps to chips by an apparently fixed sequence. n-propanoled adj. The condition of a drinker who has mistaken the ordinary pub spirit for a scientific specimen. Wattie got n-propanoled and requested tasting notes for an entirely unremarkable spirit. n-simplexed adj. The drunkenness of one who has reduced the evening to a single, steadily expanding triangle of choices. Sherla went n-simplexed, choosing only between another round, chips and going home. n-spaced adj. Drunk since last orders, and occupying every possible direction between the stool and the door. Gypsy was n-spaced after last orders, taking the long way round an entirely empty bar. n-sphered adj. Reduced by drink to a rounded object, rolling gently towards whichever seat offers least resistance. Jaila became n-sphered and rolled from the bench towards the nearest vacant stool. n-tupled adj. Softened by drink into a collection of several simultaneous intentions, none of which can be discarded. Xandir got n-tupled, carrying plans for food, karaoke and a taxi in one untidy bundle. n-typed adj. Sharpened by drink into a person who categorises every remark by its hidden variables. Kyrece went n-typed and sorted the regulars according to increasingly private criteria. n-word passed adj. Loosened by drink into a permission slip whose lower case seemed important. Tahleah was n-word passed and treated the wording as administrative detail. n-worded adj. Too drunk to say the offensive term, yet still circling it with elaborate circumlocution. Zeynep got n-worded and spent ten minutes avoiding a word nobody had invited her to say.