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netbacked adj. Describing a drinker who has calculated the evening's return after deducting the costs of getting home. Tishay was netbacked, subtracting taxi fare from the night while reaching for the kitchen tap. netbaged adj. A drinker who has become loosely contained, domestic and quietly symbolic of someone else's womanhood. Jahkhi was netbaged on the sofa, folded into a blanket and carrying water with ceremonial seriousness. netballed (/ˈnɛtbɔːld/) adj. Drunk to the extent of needing seven people to organise one successful trip to the bar. netballered (/ˈnɛtbɔːləd/) adj. Drunk on the strength of passing every decision to a teammate before attempting a goal. Yadrian was netballered, asking three companions whether he might order another pint. netbanked adj. Drunk since last orders, and conducting all remaining transactions through a pocket-sized screen. Tyreion was netbanked by the taxi rank, checking his balance instead of checking the road. netblocked adj. Drunk by the third round, and occupying a fixed range of the bar from which no traffic can pass. netblotched adj. The condition of a drinker who confidently diagnoses every tablecloth as a barley disease. Harbour spent the supper inspecting patterns for fungal lesions, thoroughly netblotched. netbooked adj. Drunk by closing time, and economical with both words and the battery required to produce them. netbooted adj. Still drunk, and restarting the evening from whichever nearby conversation offers a usable connection. Beyza was netbooted at the bar, rejoining the same argument whenever someone made eye contact. netburped adj. Too drunk to keep a conversation connected, leaving every exchange briefly separated from the next. netcamed adj. Sufficiently drunk to provide a live, poorly framed broadcast of the pub to anyone nearby. netcasted adj. Having drunk enough to transmit every thought across the pub, whether requested or not. netcastered adj. Having drunk more than the audience can reasonably receive, yet continuing the programme regardless. Elvia was netcastered, producing a lengthy account of the bus journey for two unwilling listeners. netcoded adj. You are drunk and handling every social interaction as though it were a network protocol. netcoed adj. You have drunk enough to manage the pub's entire infrastructure from the end of one table. Rose-aly was netcoed, managing the pub's infrastructure from one table and alarming the landlord. netcopped adj. Describing a drinker who polices everyone else's pub behaviour while steadily losing track of his own. Ariya was netcopped, reprimanding the bar for noise while leaning against the fruit machine.