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netwared adj. The drunkenness of one who wages cyberwar against the group chat while waiting for a taxi. Hussin became netwared after last orders and launched a campaign against the pub's booking system. network adaptered adj. Sharpened by drink into an intermediary between the pub, the taxi rank and every available route home. Moonyeen was network adaptered, connecting departing friends with taxis through increasingly firm gestures. network carded adj. Loosened by drink into a portable connection point for coats, directions and unsolicited farewells. network effected adj. Too drunk to recognise that every new acquaintance increases the value of the previous ones. network engineered adj. Sufficiently drunk to design a system whose maintenance requires one's continued presence at the bar. Travin was network engineered and reorganised the pub's tables according to traffic flow. network externalitied adj. Having drunk enough to make one's condition everyone else's problem merely by joining the conversation. Pyper grew network externalitied, lowering the quality of discussion for the entire room. network interface carded adj. You are drunk and functioning chiefly as an unreliable point of contact between separate systems. network interface controllered adj. Of a drinker: acting as the hardware through which several otherwise incompatible conversations communicate. network marketinged adj. A drinker so far gone that every friendly introduction becomes a sales opportunity with several tiers. Grifin became network marketinged and tried to monetise the queue for the lavatory. network motiffed adj. The state of being drunk and repeatedly reproducing the same small pattern of behaviour across the room. Paradise was network motiffed, offering identical advice at every table. network neutralitied adj. The condition of a drinker who permits every topic, opinion and unsolicited anecdote equal access to the evening. Autis grew network neutralitied and allowed every disputed subject into the conversation. network option timed adj. Reduced by drink to rationing one's remaining attention among several simultaneous programmes, none worth watching. Sahian was network option timed, allotting precisely seven minutes to each abandoned conversation. network printered adj. Softened by drink into accepting instructions from elsewhere and producing whatever copy arrives first. network providered adj. Sharpened by drink into broadcasting a continuous stream of programmes to an audience that cannot unsubscribe. Basilio was network providered and supplied uninterrupted commentary from the corner seat. network socketed adj. Drunk and operating as an open endpoint, receiving messages from anyone and sending replies indiscriminately. Earsley was network socketed, accepting unsolicited conversation from every passing patron. network stated adj. Drunk to the point where a circle of drinking companions appears ready to claim territory and sovereignty. Bellanie was network stated and proposed crowdfunded jurisdiction over the smoking shelter.