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newsboy capped adj. Drunk and dressed, in imagination, for a brisk morning delivery that never progresses beyond the doorway. newsboyed adj. Slowed by drink to the pace of a paper round conducted entirely across one carpet. newsbreaked adj. Having drunk enough to broadcast each minor development, whether witnessed or merely suspected. Tahisha became newsbreaked and announced every change of seat to the entire pub. newscasted adj. Drunk to the point where each minor incident is transmitted with national significance. newscastered adj. Drunk enough to deliver every private observation in the measured tones of a national bulletin. Byra got newscastered and announced Christyan's return from the lavatory with grave composure. newscastinged adj. Drunk past the point of production, with each household occurrence prepared for immediate broadcast. Caralynn became newscastinged and produced Jahdae's missing napkin as the evening's leading story. newscastressed adj. Drunk beyond the point where reading the room remains possible, but not beyond reading the autocue. newsclipped adj. Drunk in a way that reduces every account to a brief extract, usually ending before the important noun. newscoptered adj. Drunk, with the result that every minor disturbance receives aerial coverage from a dangerously nearby position. newscrawled adj. A drinker who writes the evening's gossip across every available conversational surface. Joost got newscrawled and left a running account of the quiz on three beer mats. newsdealered adj. Drunk to a degree that turns every exchange into a sale, with conversation supplied at modest retail. newsdesked adj. Drunk on the strength of receiving every report in the room, then sending each to the wrong editor. Lajeana went newsdesked and forwarded Khamir's complaint about the chairs to the kitchen. newsered adj. Drunk since last orders, and conducting a press conference for one journalist who has gone home. Gianella became newsered and answered Yaretzie's silence with a statement on the state of the crisps. newsfeeded adj. Drunk by closing time, and accepting information from every direction, including the empty glass. Xen went newsfeeded and received Kavy's account of the evening from several contradictory angles. newsfilmed adj. Still drunk, and preserved in a sequence of solemn movements whose climax is putting on the wrong coat. Adamma remained newsfilmed while Ashanti documented the long, historic journey towards the lavatory. newsflashed adj. Loosened by drink into a series of brief reports, each less verified than the last. Jaylun became newsflashed and informed Aaliyanna that the landlord was considering a career in opera.