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newsvendored adj. The state of being drunk and operating every nearby surface as a temporary support system. Christyana became newsvendored, using every nearby surface as support while claiming to run the morning edition. newswatchered adj. The condition of a drinker who observes each loss of coordination without intervening. newsweeklied adj. The drunkenness of one who distributes speech in weekly instalments, with long pauses between editions. newswired adj. Softened by drink into a continuous stream of announcements, none of which reaches a conclusion. Denia was newswired, pouring out unfinished reports while feeling for the stair rail. newswomanned adj. Sharpened by drink into a reporter who notices every wobble and attributes it to circumstances. newsworthinessed adj. Loosened by drink into a person for whom every bodily error merits immediate publication. Shemara was newsworthinessed, declaring the dropped glass significant enough for tomorrow's front page. newswritered adj. Emboldened by drink to supply words for movements that would otherwise be difficult to explain. newswritinged adj. Slowed by drink to the pace at which each footfall requires its own carefully prepared sentence. Kaston was newswritinged, taking the stairs one clause and one handrail at a time. newszined adj. Having drunk more than the evening's news can contain, and filing each round as a fresh bulletin. Antonia-maria got newszined and announced last orders as though reporting a national emergency. newtaked adj. You are drunk and treating the route home as newly cultivated territory, testing every available path. newted (/ˈnjuːtd/) adj. You have drunk enough to spend the journey home looking for water and expecting it to move. newthed adj. Of a drinker: newly made over by the first round, with no settled plan for the next. newtlinged adj. Of a drinker who has had a few, and is small, damp-looking and not yet ready for the larger pond. Cyasia was newtlinged after the first round, peering hopefully towards the pub's smallest table. newton metered adj. A drinker who measures the evening in forceful turns of the wrist, especially when opening bottles for others. Chanthy became newton metered and volunteered to open every bottle remaining on the table. newton metred adj. A drinker so far gone that every attempt to turn towards home acquires measurable rotational force. Kimberl was newton metred, turning repeatedly towards the station without gaining ground. newtoniaed adj. The state of being drunk and calling insistently from the edge of the group, as though waiting to be noticed.