New Styled
New World quailed

N - Page 63

New Styled adj. Drunk beyond the point where the calendar agrees with the clock on the kitchen wall. Gizelle became New Styled and insisted it was breakfast while eating crisps on the sofa. New Taiwan dollared adj. Drunk in a way that converts every household object into a small, negotiable sum. Guyllaume got New Taiwan dollared and priced the cushions before sitting down.
New Thoughtered adj. Drunk, with the result that every sip of water becomes evidence of a larger household theory. Charlotta became New Thoughtered and linked the kettle, sofa and weather through several careful arguments. New Thoughtisted adj. Drunk to a degree that turns the sofa into an instrument of positive domestic thinking. Marie-ange got New Thoughtisted and visualised the washing-up already completed. New Urbanismed adj. Drunk to the extent of making the kitchen walkable, then obstructing its only route with a chair. Aliette became New Urbanismed and planned a pedestrian route between the sofa and kettle. New Waved adj. Drunk on the strength of repeatedly crossing the sofa like a small, private tide. Halfred got New Waved and rose from the sofa in several carefully timed movements. New Weird Americaed adj. The drunkenness of one who makes a minor folk song sound ominous, unplaceable and considerably longer than necessary. Tonyetta grew New Weird Americaed and gave the fruit machine a mournful ballad about a vanished road. New Weirded adj. The condition of a drinker who crosses genres mid-sentence, from ghost story to speculative nonsense without warning. Shamari got New Weirded and turned a discussion of darts into a tale involving haunted machinery. New Womanned adj. Reduced by drink to asserting independence, correcting the landlord and declining assistance with the coat. Darryle got New Womanned and refused three offers to carry a handbag he was not carrying. New World barbeted adj. Softened by drink into a brightly coloured, round-headed conversationalist who settles comfortably on any available perch. Fatima became New World barbeted and perched on the arm of a stranger's chair, cheerfully discussing toast. New World blackbirded adj. Sharpened by drink into a glossy, chattering nuisance with a talent for taking over the beer garden. Amruth got New World blackbirded and claimed the picnic table as his territory before ordering crisps. New World flycatchered adj. Loosened by drink into darting after every passing remark, catching some and missing the rest. Zacharias grew New World flycatchered and intercepted every conversation near the fruit machine. New World monkeyed adj. Emboldened by drink to inspect the optics of the premises from the top of the fruit machine. Chantale got New World monkeyed and climbed onto the settle to demonstrate a superior route to the toilets. New World moused adj. Slowed by drink to the cautious, nocturnal progress of something seeking shelter beneath the skirting board. Fostina went New World moused and took four minutes to cross the carpet towards the crisps. New World porcupined adj. Drunk and bristling at friendly contact, while occupying the safest tree available, namely the corner seat. Kiyara was New World porcupined and guarded the corner booth from anyone carrying a fresh round.
New World quailed adj. Drunk to the point where every raised voice produces a small retreat behind the nearest pint glass. Aroosh went New World quailed when the quiz host mentioned a tie-breaker.