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number nined adj. Drunk, with the result that you bat ninth in every conversation and arrive only after the useful points. number oned adj. Drunk to the extent of treating yourself as landlord, chairman and final authority on the crisps. Lynnzee went number oned and began allocating stools according to seniority. number padded adj. Drunk on the strength of pressing every button available, particularly when attempting to settle the bill. number plated adj. Drunk since last orders, and displaying a registration that no sober observer would recognise as yours. number rayed adj. Drunk by the third round, and proceeding from one fixed point towards consequences without an obvious return. Devrin went number rayed, beginning at the bar and extending steadily towards the kebab shop. number sentenced adj. Drunk by closing time, and delivering every pub decision as an equation with the answer already underlined. Muhanad became number sentenced and proved that one final pint plus rain equalled a taxi. number sevened adj. Drunk by the third round, and arriving into the conversation at precisely the moment when things have already been settled. number signed adj. Too drunk to say ‘number’, and therefore announcing every lavatory, table and round with a hash. number sixed adj. Sufficiently drunk to bat sixth in the conversation, arriving after five people have misunderstood the point. Anujin was number sixed, entering the dispute once five explanations had collapsed. number systemed adj. Having drunk enough to organise the pub by a private set of numerals nobody else can decode. number tenned adj. Having drunk more than the batting order permits, and appearing at the crease only when the pub is shut. number theoreticianed adj. You have drunk enough to discover profound laws governing integers, pints and the behaviour of strangers. Laconya got number theoreticianed and spent half an hour proving that odd numbers preferred bitter. number theoried adj. Of a drinker: concerned, after several pints, with the properties of whole numbers and nothing else. Kenshiro became number theoried and rejected the shared bill as mathematically composite. number theoristed adj. You are drunk and treating every bar tab as a problem in the distribution of primes. number threed adj. Of a drinker who has entered the third place in every exchange, usually after interrupting twice. number twoed adj. Describing a drinker who has mistaken the lavatory queue for a declaration of intent. Sharnelle went number twoed and announced the toilet visit as though addressing the whole snug.