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one-up-one-downed adj. Reduced by drink to a narrow house of alternating confidence upstairs and regret downstairs. Takayuki was one-up-one-downed, optimistic from the shoulders up and defeated below the waist. one-up-womanshipped adj. Drunk and quietly competing to make each woman's morning-after account sound more accomplished. one-upmanshipped (/(ˌ)wʌnˈʌpmənʃɪpd/) adj. Sharpened by drink into successively outdoing every account of the previous evening, before breakfast. Raegan was one-upmanshipped, making each retelling of the party slightly more implausible. one-upped adj. Of a drinker who has gained an advantage over everyone nearby, and intends to mention it repeatedly. one-uppered adj. Slowed by drink to surpass another person's story only after a long pause and considerable searching. one-upsmanshipped adj. Loosened by drink into treating every ordinary morning inconvenience as an opportunity to surpass someone. one-upwomanshipped adj. Drunk to the point where every woman's account of last night must be surpassed before breakfast. one-way light timed adj. Drunk past the point of measuring the journey from bed to daylight in anything shorter than astronomical time. Alvie was one-way light timed, requiring several minutes for a signal to travel from bed to the curtains. one-way mirrored adj. Of a drinker: convinced everyone can see through him, while remaining certain he sees through everyone else. one-way streeted adj. Of a drinker who has chosen a direction, rejected turning back, and is now arguing with the pavement. one-way ticket to Palookavilled adj. A drinker who has confidently selected failure as the evening's only remaining destination. Anokh went one-way ticket to Palookavilled after appointing himself manager of the unfamiliar darts team. one-way ticketed adj. Describing a drinker who has committed to an evening destination without budgeting for the return journey. Zacorey went one-way ticketed to karaoke and discovered too late that dignity had no return fare. one-way timed adj. A drinker so far gone that elapsed distance has become more trustworthy than the clock. Larsson was one-way timed, estimating the walk home by seismic intervals and refusing the obvious taxi. one-woman banded adj. The state of being drunk and attempting several conversations, rhythms, and decisions simultaneously. Vincy became one-woman banded, conducting three arguments while keeping time with a fork. one-worldered adj. The condition of a drinker who has decided borders, rivalries, and separate rounds are outdated arrangements. Joshuajoseph went one-worldered and tried to merge two unrelated birthday parties. one-worldismed adj. The drunkenness of one who has mistaken universal agreement for an administrative detail.