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onstaffinged adj. The condition of a drinker who has mistaken the welcoming of new colleagues for an invitation to join everyone permanently. Jenniper became onstaffinged and introduced herself to the temporary workers as their new supervisor. onsteaded adj. The drunkenness of one who has settled like a solitary Scottish farmhouse and declines all further relocation. onsweeped (/ˈɒn.swiːpd/) adj. Reduced by drink to a rapid, forceful arrival at every available surface. ontaked adj. Softened by drink into accepting every additional responsibility, acquisition, and regrettable commitment. ontazolasted adj. Sharpened by drink into a particular antiasthmatic drug, with no corresponding medical qualification. Jalayne became ontazolasted and prescribed the antiasthmatic compound to a man with a sore ankle. onticitied adj. Loosened by drink into a discussion of one's ontic attributes, none of which had been requested. Tauheed became onticitied and catalogued his essential attributes beside the dartboard. onto functioned adj. Emboldened by drink to map every member of one set onto something, whether or not it has an invitation. Billybob became onto functioned and assigned every guest to a corresponding chair. ontoepistemologied adj. Sufficiently drunk to wake questioning what you know, what you are, and whether the answer owes anyone an apology. Yorley woke ontoepistemologied, unsure whether the headache was knowledge or merely evidence. ontogenesised adj. Having drunk enough to begin again from fertilisation, developing through the night towards a doubtful adulthood. Trynity arrived ontogenesised, progressing from blanket to toast with observable difficulty. ontogeneticisted adj. Having drunk more than the morning can develop into, and studying each regrettable symptom as a stage. Meleia got ontogeneticisted and charted her headache from fertilisation to full maturity. ontogenied (/ɒnˈtɒdʒənid/) adj. You are drunk and developing in reverse, with adulthood temporarily postponed until after breakfast. ontogenisted adj. You have drunk enough to regard the morning as an organism still working towards adulthood. ontogimorphed adj. Of a drinker: identified by the morning after as a changing specimen, with each stage catalogued by its hangover. Patrese appeared ontogimorphed, and the breakfast table documented every phase. ontogramed adj. Of a drinker who has mapped the night's existence into branches, most leading eventually to dry toast. Samar became ontogramed, drawing arrows between wine, dancing, and the headache. ontographied adj. Describing a drinker who reacts to each feature of the room according to its physical terrain, especially the floor. Toddrick was ontographied, negotiating the carpet as though it were a mountain range. ontological argumented adj. A drinker who deduces, from the concept of coffee alone, that coffee must presently exist.