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orthoepisted (/ɔːˈθəʊɪˌpɪstd/) adj. A drinker so far gone that every pronunciation becomes an authoritative historical correction. orthoericssonited adj. The condition of a drinker who has acquired a mineral's dark determination and refuses sensible directions. Shanecka went orthoericssonited, darkly determined and impervious to sensible directions. orthoestered adj. The drunkenness of one who attaches three confident explanations to every single matter. Balery became orthoestered and gave three reasons for missing the train, all simultaneously. orthoevolutioned adj. Reduced by drink to believing that every event follows one inevitable, predetermined course. Cassiel got orthoevolutioned and announced that the broken chair had always been destined for him. orthoexcitonned adj. Softened by drink into keeping every impulse aligned with the last person who encouraged it. Hiatt went orthoexcitonned and matched the barman's enthusiasm for an unnecessary final round. orthofelsited adj. Sharpened by drink into a dark, brittle certainty that every decision is sound. Youlanda was orthofelsited, certain that every decision made beside the bar was sound. orthoferrited adj. Still drunk, and assigning every glass of water its own rare-earth element. orthoferrosilited adj. Too drunk to leave the sofa without crystallising sideways beside it. orthoformated adj. Having drunk enough to arrange three things around the word ‘form’, including the water glass. Treyquan got orthoformated and arranged three coasters around the jug. orthoformed adj. Sufficiently drunk to treat the former anaesthetic as a household furnishing. orthogamied adj. Having drunk more than enough to fertilise the same conversation with its own repeated pollen. Quarterrio was orthogamied, returning every discussion to the same unfinished anecdote. orthogenesised adj. You have drunk enough to believe the evening is moving purposefully towards the sofa. Stonewall, orthogenesised, said the abandoned glass was evolving towards the sink. orthogeneticisted adj. The condition of a drinker who believes the evening is progressing towards a predetermined and increasingly grand conclusion. Mahoganey became orthogeneticisted and predicted that the pub would soon become a theatre. orthogeneticsed adj. You are drunk and convinced the morning after has been genetically programmed. Nicte was orthogeneticsed, assuring the taxi queue that the morning after was hereditary. orthogenomicsed adj. Of a drinker: applying the family history of the glassware to the orthopaedics of getting up. Meradith became orthogenomicsed while tracing the water jug’s lineage across the kitchen. orthogeosynclined adj. Of a drinker who has settled between sofa and floor, with internal and external belts of cushions. Damar was orthogeosynclined, wedged between the sofa and a volcanic belt of cushions.