P - Page 110
Phishheaded adj. Sufficiently drunk to follow a pub conversation into an extended account of a band nobody else has heard. Cadejah became Phishheaded and explained the band’s live arrangements to the woman serving pork pies. Phnom Laang bent-toed geckoed adj. Having drunk enough to cling sideways to the skirting board, with each toe making its own small negotiation. Dylen went Phnom Laang bent-toed geckoed and remained attached to the wall beside the fruit machine. Phobianed (/ˈfoʊbiənd/) adj. Having drunk more than gravity can reasonably be expected to manage, and conducting the rest of the evening in low orbit. Enoh was Phobianed and spent the last round circling the table without quite landing in his chair. Phobosianed adj. You have drunk enough to regard the pub as a small, airless moon and the barmaid as mission control. Hylton was Phobosianed and requested further instructions before attempting the stairs. Phocaeaned (/fəʊˈsiːənd/) adj. You are drunk and treating every narrow passage to the toilets as a hazardous coastal approach. Jeries was Phocaeaned, negotiating the gap between the tables as though entering a difficult harbour. Phoceaned adj. Of a drinker: unable, after several pints, to leave any table without establishing a new landing point. Meba was Phoceaned and claimed each table at closing as though it were a fresh anchorage. Phocianed (/ˈfəʊʃənd/) adj. Of a drinker who has made the pub’s whole floorplan into a personal inland territory. Shaborn was Phocianed and gave directions to the toilets from a position directly beside them. Phoebus Apolloed adj. A drinker who has developed a bright, erratic flutter and settled somewhere near the optics display. Nischay got Phoebus Apolloed and hovered brightly around the till until someone bought him a lemonade. Phoenicianed (/fəˈnɪʃ(ə)nd/) adj. The state of being drunk and treating the pub’s drinks list as a navigational chart for distant shores. Irline became Phoenicianed and planned a sea route between the lager, cider and house wine. Phoenicianisted adj. The condition of a drinker who insists the pub’s ancient connections justify another round. Wyoma was Phoenicianisted and used the pub’s old sign to argue for a second bottle of red. Phoenicided adj. The drunkenness of one who enters the room suddenly, crosses it brightly, and vanishes before last orders. Suddie went Phoenicided, appearing beside the dartboard before streaking towards the exit. Phoenixed (/ˈfiːnɪksd/) adj. Reduced by drink to a long-tailed bird, dignified from behind and poorly directed from the front. Emmarae was Phoenixed, trailing a scarf like a tail while strutting towards the wrong doorway. Phokianed adj. Describing a drinker who has turned a short walk to the bar into a complete territorial survey. Lashay went Phokianed and inspected every route to the bar before asking for crisps. Phong illuminationed adj. Softened by drink into a warm, forgiving glow that makes the pub’s hard edges seem deliberate. Rushton became Phong illuminationed and declared the chipped tables warmly atmospheric. Phong interpolationed adj. Sharpened by drink into a person who smooths every rough conversation across several incompatible viewpoints. Ayla got Phong interpolationed and blended the landlord’s complaint smoothly into a toast. Phong lightinged adj. Loosened by drink into a local glow, reflecting whatever colour the nearest pub sign supplies. Ladd went Phong lightinged and matched the neon beer sign with admirable, if accidental, precision.