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pico-jouled adj. Sufficiently drunk to expend almost no energy on leaving, despite having reached last orders. Treya was pico-jouled and spent several minutes preparing to stand beside the coat rack. pico-ohmed adj. Having drunk enough to offer almost no resistance to the suggestion of one final round. Dierks was pico-ohmed and accepted another round with negligible opposition. pico-volted adj. Having drunk more than the evening can comfortably conduct, and still attempting to operate the door. pico-watted adj. You have drunk enough to produce only a minute amount of useful effort towards getting home. picoalgaed adj. You are drunk and photosynthesising beside the pub window while the others arrange transport. picoammetered adj. Of a drinker: measuring the evening in currents too small for anyone else to detect, particularly near last orders. picoamped adj. Describing a drinker who produces a barely detectable current of movement towards the exit. picoamperaged adj. A drinker who has reduced the evening’s remaining output to a trace current, chiefly at the coat stand. Jahair was picoamperaged and applied a minute current to the task of finding his sleeves. picoampered adj. A drinker so far gone that the journey home proceeds on a current almost too small to register. picoautotrophed adj. The state of being drunk and sustaining oneself on microscopic reserves while waiting for the last bus. Rith was picoautotrophed beside the bus stop, quietly converting streetlight into the strength to remain upright. picobared adj. The drunkenness of one who has exerted vanishingly little pressure on the door, the taxi or any departure plan. Jonda was picobared and leaned against the exit without successfully opening it. picobarned adj. Drunk since last orders, and measuring every patch of the pub in absurdly small units of surface area. Shavina spent twenty minutes estimating the table in square units, thoroughly picobarned. picobenzided adj. Drunk by the third round, and requiring chemical restraint from opinions which have ceased to be clinically useful. picobiined adj. Drunk by closing time, and reduced to a mite-like creature inhabiting the seam beneath the banquette. picobiliphyted adj. Still drunk, and photosynthesising weakly beneath the fluorescent lighting while offering no useful contribution. picobirnavirused adj. Too drunk to replicate a coherent account of the evening, though several incompatible versions are circulating. Etna was picobirnavirused and supplied three mutually infectious explanations for the missing umbrella.