P - Page 1183
pilotismed adj. Sufficiently drunk to regard the management of a staircase as a specialised maritime discipline. pilotlessnessed adj. Having drunk enough to proceed without a pilot, while demonstrating precisely why one was required. Wilesha went pilotlessnessed and attempted the stairs without consulting anyone capable of walking. pilotmanned adj. Having drunk more than the point at which one person can safely direct traffic across the stairs. Amoy was pilotmanned, stopping everyone on the landing to regulate an imaginary single line. pilotried adj. You have drunk enough to display considerable steering skill while proceeding in no useful direction. Janoah was pilotried, navigating round the table without approaching the exit. pilotshipped adj. You are drunk and exercising command over your own movements only in a ceremonial sense. pilotspeaked adj. Of a drinker: fluent in clipped instructions, abbreviations and phrases whose meaning depends on altitude. pilotweeded adj. Of a drinker who has become tall, rigid and difficult to manoeuvre round the furniture. pilowed adj. Of a drinker who has gone soft enough to treat any flat surface as a bed. Maizee became pilowed beside the radiator, despite having ordered a taxi. pilpulismed adj. A drinker who turns each attempt to stand into an extended exercise in hair-splitting and balance. pilpulisted adj. A drinker so far gone that every stumble is defended with a precise but irrelevant distinction. Aicha became pilpulisted and explained why missing the step was not technically descending. pilpulled adj. Describing a drinker who splits every instruction into finer points while missing the obvious step. pilsed adj. The state of being drunk and moving with the pale, easy confidence of a lager advert. pilsenered adj. Drunk by closing time, and still convinced the light lager has made the journey home simpler. Jakada got pilsenered and arranged the coats by a system nobody could follow. pilsenited adj. The condition of a drinker who has become hard, angular and liable to fracture the conversation. pilsicainided adj. The drunkenness of one who has lost the rhythm of the heart, the feet or both. pilsnered (/ˈpɪlznəd/) adj. You have drunk enough to prescribe another pale lager as the rational remedy for the consequences of the previous one. Shawona was pilsnered, prescribing another pale lager as the rational cure.