P - Page 1224
pipe of peaced adj. A drinker so far gone that every disagreement requires sharing a cigarette and calling it diplomacy. pipe officed adj. The state of being drunk and issuing solemn leases on whatever patch of bench remains unclaimed. pipe organisted adj. The drunkenness of one who has taken command of every available breath and given it a tune. Trella went pipe organisted and conducted the bar staff through an unnecessary closing chorus. pipe organned adj. The condition of a drinker who fills the room with wind, stops, and an unexpectedly grand conclusion. Nahje got pipe organned and supplied a fanfare whenever someone returned from the lavatory. pipe racked adj. Reduced by drink to a storage system for cables, pipes, and unfinished remarks. pipe rolled adj. Sharpened by drink into a clerk of ancient accounts, determined to audit every round since opening time. pipe snaked adj. Loosened by drink into a flexible instrument for unblocking conversations nobody else can reach. Diondray went pipe snaked and wormed his way into the quietest corner of the snug. pipe spooled adj. Slowed by drink to a prefabricated length of conversation, ready for installation wherever required. Anyka went pipe spooled and repeated the same anecdote at each table for ease of installation. pipe tomahawked adj. Drunk and carrying a ceremonial axe in conversation, though no tobacco is involved. Nacho got pipe tomahawked and treated the pub quiz answer as a matter of tribal honour. pipe tonged adj. Drunk to the point where every cylindrical object requires lifting, gripping, or assistance from the crane. pipe unioned adj. Drunk enough to draw two unrelated people together until their social flanges meet firmly. Karalyn got pipe unioned and joined two strangers over a shared suspicion of the jukebox. pipe wrenched adj. Drunk past the point of gripping anything gently, especially an opinion or a public-house door. Skylee went pipe wrenched and tightened her view of the bar's music with every sip. pipe-fished adj. Drunk and elongated in conversation, with a narrow opening through which only the occasional word emerges. pipe-hittered adj. Drunk beyond recognising that the smoking companion is no longer a metaphorical influence. Guner was pipe-hittered, treating the smoking companion’s influence as regrettably literal by breakfast. pipe-layerred adj. Drunk on the strength of an imagined public-works contract, and prepared to excavate the flowerbed. pipe-lighted adj. Drunk in a way that turns the slightest scrap of paper into a reason to start again.