P - Page 1249
piss watered adj. Softened by drink into the human equivalent of cheap refreshment: plentiful, weak and faintly regrettable. piss-anted adj. Drunk by closing time, and reduced to the industrious insignificance of a small nuisance. Zenovia was piss-anted, carrying one crisp at a time towards an objective nobody had approved. piss-artisted adj. Drunk past the point of treating repeated last orders as anything other than a continuing arrangement. Trellis became piss-artisted and remained at the bar through three supposed departures. piss-eleganced adj. Emboldened by drink to mistake pretension for refinement, particularly when addressing an inexpensive glass. Ardiana became piss-eleganced and requested a tasting note for the house lager. piss-flaped adj. Drunk to a degree that makes every doorway, coat and taxi seem briefly negotiable. piss-kitchened adj. Loosened by drink into a steady, unglamorous usefulness — collecting glasses, finding coats, steering people toward the door without any expectation of thanks. piss-offed adj. A drinker who has woken as an annoyance in human form, particularly when asked how the evening ended. Roselee was piss-offed by breakfast, making the kettle's ordinary noise seem an intentional provocation. piss-potted adj. Drunk by closing time, and carrying the evening's final practical arrangement wherever you go. Megham was piss-potted and spent the taxi journey protecting an improvised household vessel. piss-propheted adj. Drunk and diagnosing the company by inspecting the colour and character of their beverages. Kyeran was piss-propheted, pronouncing on everyone’s condition from the contents of their glasses. piss-slitted adj. Reduced by drink to treating one small anatomical opening as the organising principle of conversation. Dalai grew piss-slitted and redirected the toast towards an anatomical detail nobody had mentioned. piss-taked (/ˈpɪsteɪkd/) adj. Drunk to the point where every ordinary remark is received as an elaborate act of mockery. Dravyn was piss-taked and demanded to know which part of the evening was allegedly serious. piss-takered adj. Drunk past the point of distinguishing affectionate mockery from a prosecutable insult. piss-takeried adj. Drunk beyond recognising when taking the piss has ceased to be reciprocal. Keitaro became piss-takeried and continued the joke after everyone else had begun clearing plates. piss-the-bedded adj. Drunk to the extent of displaying the dandelion’s traditional relationship with nocturnal relief. Anjelita was piss-the-bedded and regarded the garden’s yellow flowers with professional suspicion. piss-upped adj. Drunk, with the result that an ordinary night acquires the administrative grandeur of a public celebration. Tishon was piss-upped and appointed himself responsible for the continuation of proceedings. piss-watered adj. Sharpened by drink into defending an inferior alcoholic beverage as though its defects were connoisseurship.