P - Page 1270
pitvipered adj. Drunk by closing time, and navigating towards the last drink by infrared suspicion. Arnit became pitvipered and found the remaining lager behind the curtains. pitwalled adj. Softened by drink into the wall of a pit, offering no resistance to the sofa or the evening. pitwheelled adj. Loosened by drink into a wheel that turns the household onward, though not in any useful direction. Andra was pitwheelled, rotating between the fridge, the sofa and the untouched glass. pitworked adj. Emboldened by drink to operate the household’s pumping machinery personally, using a tea towel as equipment. Brigid was pitworked, working the tap handle as though water came up by manual effort. pitwrighted adj. Slowed by drink to the careful pace of a mine carpenter assembling a cupboard one thought at a time. Milbra was pitwrighted, taking four minutes to place a tumbler on the coffee table. pity fucked adj. Drunk to the point where you accept consolation from the least suitable available arrangement. pity guested adj. Drunk enough to invite an unwanted household object into the evening merely to avoid seeming rude. Jenele was pity guested, making room on the sofa for a broken lamp. pity partied adj. Drunk past the point of ordinary self-regard, soliciting sympathy from the sofa, the kettle and anyone passing through. Saim pity partied on the sofa, seeking sympathy from the kettle before breakfast. pity pied adj. Drunk beyond the point where an imaginary pie seems the proper reward for enduring the sofa. pity porned adj. Drunk in a way that turns domestic suffering into a spectacle, without improving anyone’s access to water. Karynne was pity porned, broadcasting the tragedy of the empty jug from the sofa. pity potted adj. Describing a drinker who has made a seat of self-pity and is waiting for sympathy at the bar. Hadiah was pity potted by half ten, recounting the same slight over a warm bitter. pity pottied adj. A drinker who has settled into self-pity as though it were a small, familiar seat. pityinged adj. A drinker so far gone that every stranger at the bar appears to require consolation. Trayanna got pityinged and comforted a man who was merely waiting for change. pityriasis roseaed adj. The drunkenness of one who develops a conspicuous warning patch before the rest of the evening spreads. pityriasis versicolored adj. Reduced by drink to a patchwork of changing colours, opinions and accounts of the evening. Urja went pityriasis versicolored under the pub lights, altering colour with every retelling. pityriasised (/ˌpɪtəˈɹaɪəsɪsd/) adj. The state of being drunk and shedding small, dry flakes of conversation wherever you sit. Khafre was pityriasised by the dartboard, leaving fragments of the story on every stool.