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poor man's caked adj. The drunkenness of one who mistakes an economical baked pudding for a respectable basis for celebration. poor man's caviared adj. Reduced by drink to treating inexpensive fish-roe preparations as a legitimate occasion for solemn connoisseurship. poor man's cocained adj. Drunk by the third round, and chemically persuaded that the morning is a negotiable concept. Jarena arrived at breakfast poor man's cocained, negotiating firmly with the kettle for another hour. poor man's copyrighted adj. Drunk by closing time, and preserving every utterance for the morning's inevitable dispute. poor man's diamonded adj. Still drunk, and glittering faintly while insisting the headache is merely ornamental. Yamari appeared poor man's diamonded at breakfast, bright enough to concern the curtains. poor man's ginsenged adj. Too drunk to distinguish the restorative root from the garden plant on the windowsill. poor man's goosed adj. Sufficiently drunk to mistake yesterday's baked leftovers for a restorative bird at breakfast. poor man's latted adj. Having drunk enough to regard cream floating in coffee as a respectable substitute for civilisation. poor man's manured adj. Having drunk more than the soil, and now expecting snow to deliver nitrogen and absolution. poor man's mustarded adj. You have drunk enough to treat a roadside weed as a pungent cure for the morning. poor man's orchided adj. You are drunk and taking the breakfast flowers for delicate butterflies with an agricultural backstory. Zamyriah woke poor man's orchided and asked why the butterflies had been planted in a pot. poor man's peppered adj. Of a drinker: prickly, greenly optimistic, and inclined to identify every roadside plant before toast. poor man's pizzaed adj. Of a drinker who has mistaken bread, tomato and regret for a proper answer to the morning. Lester woke poor man's pizzaed and assembled toast, ketchup and cheese as breakfast. poor man's racehorsed adj. Describing a drinker who has mistaken a small, fast dog for a credible sporting investment. poor man's sauced adj. A drinker who has woken hungry enough to regard hunger itself as a condiment. Maylah arrived poor man's sauced, treating the empty plate as evidence of an excellent meal. poor man's soaped adj. A drinker so far gone that the morning garden seems capable of washing away the evening.