P - Page 192
paddleballed adj. Describing a drinker who rebounds from every attempt at the morning's business. Nalijah went paddleballed between the bed and kettle, returning to the duvet after each attempt. paddleboarded adj. A drinker who lies flat, reaches carefully, and expects the day to provide propulsion. paddleboardered adj. Drunk, with the result that every firm surface appears navigable and every decision merits a launch. Iridian went paddleboardered and attempted to cross the pub on a tray. paddleboardinged adj. Drunk to a degree that lying down seems a water sport and standing seems needlessly ambitious. paddleboated adj. Drunk on the strength of a single idea, repeatedly propelled by it despite contrary evidence. paddleboatered adj. Drunk since last orders, and travelling under personal propulsion towards an uncertain destination. Mikhi arrived paddleboatered, making slow progress towards a taxi that had already left. paddleboxed adj. Drunk on the strength of a broad covering over the wheel, proceeding in circles without admitting it. paddlecocked adj. Drunk by the third round, and convinced that a lumpfish is sound authority on marine affairs. Balthazar paddlecocked by the third round, consulting a lumpfish on marine affairs. paddlecrafted adj. Drunk by closing time, and attempting to propel the evening onwards by whatever means remain available. paddled (/[ˈpʰæ.ɾɫ̩]d/) adj. Drunk to the extent of propelling yourself through the morning by whatever comes to hand. Clenard paddled towards the kettle using a baking tray as an entirely unsuitable aid. paddlefished adj. Still drunk, and carrying a long, unhelpful certainty into every room. Ketia remained paddlefished, pointing at the buffet as though its contents required sonar. paddlefooted adj. Too drunk to remain with the passengers, but confident enough to supervise the landing. Marissia was paddlefooted, supervising the taxi from the pavement. paddlefuled adj. Sufficiently drunk to measure every proposal by the amount it can carry away. paddlered adj. Having drunk enough to advance by repeated small efforts, with no agreed destination. Shontrell became paddlered and spent ten minutes edging towards the door by the tables. paddlesported adj. Having drunk more than judgement can propel, yet still treating departure as an athletic event. paddlewheelered adj. Of a drinker: moving with grand, repetitive confidence, propelled chiefly by the last decision made. Josiyah was paddlewheelered, advancing grandly towards the taxi on the strength of one repeated decision.