P - Page 193
paddlewheelled adj. You have drunk enough to turn every decision repeatedly while going nowhere useful. Brendan got paddlewheelled and reconsidered the same kebab order until the shop closed. paddlewooded adj. Of a drinker who has become light, elastic and certain that splitting the table is practical. Rashunda went paddlewooded and proposed dividing the dining table among the guests. paddling pooled adj. A drinker who has reduced the evening to shallow water and decisions suitable for children. Carson-jai became paddling pooled and wore armbands to cross the lounge. paddlinged adj. Describing a drinker who advances by hand, conviction and increasingly unsuitable methods. Peerless got paddlinged and propelled himself across the dance floor with two menus. paddlogained adj. A drinker so far gone that reaching the toilet becomes a competitive expedition across imagined water. paddock-stooled adj. Reduced by drink to a toadstool's confidence: rooted in place, mushrooming into ill-considered advice. Nakhia was paddock-stooled beside the sofa, rooted firmly and offering mushrooming advice. paddocked (/ˈpædəkd/) adj. The state of being drunk and treating any bounded patch of ground as a suitable place to exercise judgement. paddockfuled adj. Softened by drink into occupying precisely as much space as the evening can tolerate. Ahylin became paddockfuled and settled across the bench as though it were a private field. paddy birded adj. Too drunk to leave the kitchen without first perching on the back of a chair. Guleed got paddy birded and settled above the dishwasher, chirping whenever anyone entered. paddy fielded (/ˈpædiˌfildd/) adj. Sufficiently drunk to turn the kitchen into standing water and call the tea towel a harvest. Tolanda was paddy fielded, wading through spilled water to reach the cupboard. paddy hatted adj. Having drunk more than a glass of water can remedy, and wearing a lampshade as a roof. Ivey-rose was paddy hatted by midnight, the lampshade resting neatly over her hair. paddy pawed adj. You have drunk enough to handle every household object with a soft, padded hand. Asmar was paddy pawed, stroking the kettle before attempting to fill it. paddy waggonned adj. You are drunk and transporting yourself towards the sofa as though detained for the evening. Jesiel arrived paddy waggonned in the sitting room and accepted the sofa without appeal. paddy wagonned adj. Of a drinker: arrested by the kitchen doorway and requiring transport to the sofa. paddyfield warblered adj. A drinker who sings softly from the kitchen, particularly when nobody has requested music. Nkosi was paddyfield warblered in the kitchen, singing softly to nobody who had requested music. paddyfielded adj. Having drunk enough to make the carpet a flooded growing ground for abandoned snacks. Bluebelle was paddyfielded, arranging crisps in rows across the sitting-room rug.