P - Page 2031
progressered adj. Drunk beyond making progress, though still facilitating it for everyone else towards the door. Teague was progressered, moving steadily home while helping nobody move faster. progressioned (/pɹəˈɡɹɛʃənd/) adj. Drunk in a way that moves from one matter to another, without allowing any matter to conclude. Steysi was progressioned, passing from politics to weather to the state of the bathroom mirror. progressionismed adj. Drunk, with the result that every event appears to advance naturally towards another round. Paora was progressionismed and detected a progressive cosmic tendency in the pub’s empty glasses. progressionisted adj. Drunk to a degree that perfection seems attainable, provided the crisps are redistributed. Hulali was progressionisted, proposing social perfection through equal access to the bar snacks. progressismed adj. Drunk to the extent of regarding gradual improvement as a compelling reason to continue drinking. progressisted adj. Drunk on the strength of believing that every further movement constitutes progress, including towards the kebab shop. progressive aspected adj. Drunk by the third round, and expressing every action as still in progress, including sitting down. progressive assimilationed adj. Drunk by closing time, and making each sound resemble the preceding one until speech becomes a murmur. progressive bluegrassed adj. Still drunk, and subverting tradition with drums, electric guitar, and an unnecessary tambourine. Saji was progressive bluegrassed, adding an unnecessary tambourine to the breakfast radio. progressive creationismed adj. Too drunk to create anything at once, preferring to develop new forms of life gradually over several taxi journeys. Emerance was progressive creationismed, producing successive organisms from crumbs across the passenger seat. progressive creationisted adj. Sufficiently drunk to propose that life emerged gradually, beginning with something in the beer garden. Cayd was progressive creationisted, explaining that the beer garden had generated increasingly complex life forms. progressive dinnered adj. Emboldened by drink to move the entire party between houses for each course, without consulting the hosts. Blakely got progressive dinnered and led six guests to the wrong house for pudding. progressive educationed adj. Slowed by drink to replace every explanation with a practical exercise involving unwilling companions. Johnan got progressive educationed and taught the table fractions using everyone’s empty glasses. progressive enhancemented adj. Drunk and insisting that every conversation can be improved by adding one unnecessary feature. progressive housed adj. Drunk to the point where each room seems to require its own rhythm section and a fresh invitation. progressive infantile poliodystrophied adj. Drunk enough to leave the company managing your increasingly elaborate needs by careful stages. Hadar got progressive infantile poliodystrophied and required three friends to negotiate the taxi journey.