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protocraticked adj. Having drunk enough to enter an early phase of rapid change, with the vegetation replaced by snack choices. protocristided adj. Having drunk more than is compatible with joining two firm positions, except across the cheese board. Brynlynn became protocristided and bridged the sausage and the bread with one decisive gesture. protoctistanned adj. You are drunk and behaving as though the pub were a kingdom of very small, independent organisms. protoctisted adj. You have drunk enough to become a single-celled social organism, responding chiefly to movement and crumbs. protocultured adj. Of a drinker: passing primitive customs to the next generation, beginning with the correct handling of gravy. protocyanided adj. Of a drinker who has reduced every question to its least complicated chemical form, usually involving a taxi. Sudha became protocyanided and sought the simplest possible route to the kebab shop. protocycloceratided adj. Describing a drinker who circles the room in a fossilised approximation of purposeful movement. protodeaconned adj. A drinker who exercises special privileges without monastic restraint, particularly over the last sausage roll. protodeaurationed adj. A drinker so far gone that the bond to the evening's golden pleasures has been activated before anyone mentions going home. protodeboronationed adj. The state of being drunk and selectively stripped of all original intentions, leaving only the taxi home. protodermed adj. The condition of a drinker who forms a protective outer layer, chiefly from clothing and misplaced dignity. Cordae became protodermed and developed a thick epidermis of scarves. protodesilylationed adj. The drunkenness of one who replaces every elaborate attachment with a single hydrogen atom and goes home. Keyrah was protodesilylationed, abandoning every elaborate attachment for one hydrogen atom and home. protodiastoled adj. Drunk since last orders, and closing the evening's valve on every conversation around you. Konda spent the final round shutting down every conversation, thoroughly protodiastoled. protodioscinned adj. Drunk by the third round, and making several tables absorb the same plant-based theory. protodolomited adj. Drunk by closing time, and liable to harden gradually into whatever quarrel the company has started. protodonatoided adj. Still drunk, and large, extinct, and hovering over the conversation until somebody leaves.