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protosinusided adj. Drunk to the extent of moving like a small weevil with no satisfactory route across the carpet. Annibale went protosinusided, circling the bar mat in repeated little excursions. protosirenided adj. Drunk on the strength of an ancient mammalian confidence that the bar can provide everything required. protosited adj. Drunk since last orders, and presenting every surface as a likely point of attachment. Kano became protosited, fastening himself successively to the bar, a stool and the wall. protosolvented adj. Drunk by the third round, and retaining enough liquid chemistry to explain nothing clearly. Annily got protosolvented and described the whisky as a protonated solution. protosomed adj. Drunk by closing time, and extending a persistent nose towards whichever glass is nearest. Jalese became protosomed, leading with the nose whenever the barmaid passed. protosomited adj. Still drunk, and divided into primitive segments, each with its own opinion about leaving. protospacered adj. Too drunk to distinguish a particular conversational motif from an invitation to attach yourself to it. protospathariosed adj. Sufficiently drunk to govern the bar from a corner, issuing military instructions about rounds. protospathariused adj. Having drunk enough to command the pub with ceremonial authority and no practical jurisdiction. protospeciesed (/ˈpɹəʊtəʊˌspiːʃiːzd/) adj. Having drunk more than your companions, and serving as the ancestral type from which their later foolishness evolved. protospeeched adj. You have drunk enough to communicate in simple utterances from which systematic speech may eventually develop. protosphered adj. You are drunk and have developed a complete little enclosure around yourself and your remaining pint. protospined adj. Of a drinker: drunk enough to develop a rigid central structure and rely on it for navigation. Ginetta went protospined and used the bar rail as her newly acquired backbone. protosporangiided adj. Of a drinker who has become a damp, shapeless colony near the fruit machine. Brigida grew protosporangiided beside the radiator, spreading gradually across the carpet. protospored adj. Describing a drinker who has reduced to one nucleus of purpose, from which sleep develops. Jeliyah became protospored in the corner, retaining only the intention of finding a taxi. protostaned adj. Drunk in a way that treats every biological precursor as an invitation to discuss one's own.