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protosulfided adj. Describing a drinker who has reached the minimum sulphur content of the evening, but not its minimum conversation. protosulphated adj. A drinker so far gone that an industrial compound seems the natural conclusion to a whisky. protosulphided adj. A drinker who has reached the least sulphurous form of the evening, while retaining its full smell. protosulphureted adj. The state of being drunk and chemically committed to the evening's least ambitious sulphide. protosunned adj. The condition of a drinker who expects the kebab shop's sign to commence nuclear fusion. Nieja became protosunned and watched the takeaway sign for signs of stellar development. protosyllabled adj. The drunkenness of one who has reduced all speech to a promising pre-syllable and a gesture towards chips. protosynapsed adj. Reduced by drink to an evolutionary precursor of communication, connecting only when offered another round. Dynesti became protosynapsed and established a primitive connection with the barman. protosyncellused adj. Softened by drink into a bishop's deputy, with authority extending chiefly to ordering chips. Zeenat became protosyncellused and appointed herself deputy to the bishop on the television. protosyntaxed adj. Drunk by closing time, and omitting everyone from the conversation who was not already in it. Ehitan got protosyntaxed and addressed the table as though membership were self-evident. prototetrapoded adj. Still drunk, and attempting the difficult evolutionary transition from lying down to standing on four limbs. protothecanned adj. Too drunk to distinguish a helpful companion from a green organism quietly taking over the room. Ashir got protothecanned and thanked the houseplant for staying late. protothecoided adj. Sufficiently drunk to become small, green, and dependent on the nearest available source of attention. protothecosised adj. Having drunk enough to spread parasitically through the gathering, leaving every host slightly worse off. Waimirirangi was protothecosised, spreading through the gathering and leaving each host slightly worse off. protothemed adj. Having drunk more than one can sensibly combine with a name, and assigning invented beginnings to everybody present. Tysheonna got protothemed and gave each guest an elaborate ancestral first half. prototheorided adj. You have drunk enough to flutter from person to person, leaving each conversation briefly disturbed. protothered adj. You are drunk and laying eggs of conversation, each one requiring patient incubation by somebody else.