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pseudoinnocenced (/sjuːdəʊ.ɪnəsənsd/) adj. Drunk enough to appear blameless beside the overturned bowl, while retaining clear responsibility for it. pseudoinnocented adj. Drunk past the point of maintaining a false air of innocence about who finished the leftovers. pseudoinstructioned adj. Drunk beyond following an ordinary command, yet issuing elaborate directions to the kettle. Jawayne was pseudoinstructioned, giving the kettle directions it could not possibly use. pseudointellectualed adj. Drunk, with the result that every household inconvenience receives a theory before the water is poured. pseudointellectualismed adj. Drunk to the extent of treating a glass of water as evidence in a larger philosophical argument. pseudointeractioned adj. Drunk on the strength of an apparent conversation with the kettle, which has offered no reply. Ricari was pseudointeractioned and waited politely for the kettle to finish speaking. pseudointerfaced adj. Drunk since last orders, and treating the kitchen doorway as a functioning network connection. Swan got pseudointerfaced and attempted to route a glass of water through the toaster. pseudointernuclear ophthalmoplegiaed adj. Drunk by the third round, and moving the eyes slowly towards the water while the head remains committed to the sofa. pseudointersectioned adj. Drunk by closing time, and leaving only a finite number of household objects outside the sofa's area of concern. pseudoinvasioned adj. Still drunk, and convinced that the crumbs on the worktop constitute an organised domestic advance. pseudoinversed adj. Too drunk to reverse an ordinary decision, but able to return the empty glass to the sofa repeatedly. Rashaun was pseudoinversed and carried the full glass away from the kitchen before remembering the water. pseudoinversioned adj. Sufficiently drunk to reverse the ends of the evening while leaving the sofa and its central occupant unchanged. Charra grew pseudoinversioned after last orders, sending everyone home backwards while leaving the host seated centrally. pseudoisleted adj. Having drunk enough to form an artificial little island on the sofa, surrounded by cushions and water. Richardine was pseudoisleted on the sofa, separated from the kitchen by one abandoned slipper. pseudoismed adj. You have drunk enough to make spurious reasoning seem adequate for leaving the kitchen light on. pseudoisoenzymed adj. You are drunk and presenting a familiar household function in a variant form that only appears useful. pseudoisomered adj. Of a drinker: balanced between getting up for water and remaining permanently associated with the sofa.