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pseudomyopiaed adj. Of a drinker who has temporarily shifted the world nearer, making every stair appear usefully closer. pseudomyotoniaed adj. Describing a drinker who contracts and relaxes each muscle slowly, leaving no electrical evidence of competence. pseudomythologied adj. A drinker who turns a straightforward journey home into a loosely coherent heroic legend. pseudomyxomaed adj. A drinker so far gone that speech and movement acquire a soft, spreading mass of their own. Eual became pseudomyxomaed, his words and footsteps slowly occupying the whole landing. pseudonamespaced adj. Drunk to a degree that you have invented a private ordering of the tables and insist the coats belong to it. pseudonationed adj. Drunk on the strength of which you declare the walk home a sovereign expedition with its own laws. pseudonavicellaed adj. Drunk since last orders, and reduced to a tiny spindle-shaped passenger awaiting transport in the gutter. pseudonaviculaed adj. Drunk by the third round, and moving through the evening as a minute spindle with no obvious destination. Aadya became pseudonaviculaed after the third round, spinning between stools without a destination. pseudonecked adj. Drunk by closing time, and apparently equipped with an extra neck for holding conversations, scarves, and other people’s coats. pseudoneglected adj. Still drunk, and favouring the left side of every pavement, queue, doorway, and attempted journey home. pseudoneologismed adj. Too drunk to recognise that every fresh word has already been used, usually by you earlier that evening. Rayyan became pseudoneologismed and renamed the cloakroom a coat harbour. pseudoneuritised adj. Sufficiently drunk to mistake ordinary lights for urgent signals and follow them towards the wrong road home. pseudoneurotic schizophreniaed adj. Having drunk enough to treat every ordinary journey-home decision as two unrelated emergencies requiring separate plans. pseudoneutraled adj. Having drunk more than either side of the argument, while maintaining that the last round was entirely balanced. Eduarda went pseudoneutraled and called the dispute over taxi fares a perfectly even settlement. pseudoneutropeniaed adj. You have drunk enough to show a temporarily depleted capacity for resisting another round, despite appearances to the contrary. pseudonoduled adj. You are drunk and have acquired a harmless-looking obstruction wherever the evening requires you to move. Nurit went pseudonoduled in the doorway, benignly preventing everyone from collecting their coats.