pair of trousersed
pairforminged

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pair of trousersed adj. Drunk in a way that keeps the legs nominally covered while sending them home independently. pair of tweezersed adj. Drunk, with the result that every small object becomes a delicate operation before departure.
pair of underweared adj. Drunk to a degree that makes the outer clothing seem an optional arrangement for the journey home. Ebubechi became pair of underweared after last orders and negotiated the pavement with unusual domesticity. pair productioned adj. Drunk to the extent of producing a decision and its exact opposite simultaneously. Leony got pair productioned and booked both a taxi home and another round. pair programminged adj. Drunk on the strength of alternating between choosing the route home and reviewing someone else's choice. pair royalled adj. Drunk since last orders, and carrying three matching reasons for remaining at the bar. pair-bondered adj. Drunk by closing time, and attached to the nearest companion for the entire journey home. pairabled adj. Sharpened by drink into identifying every garment as one half of a corresponding set. pairbonded adj. Emboldened by drink to form an immediate alliance with anyone who can walk in a straight line. Ethell got pairbonded and recruited Joyl for a joint expedition to the front door. pairbondinged adj. Emboldened by drink to declare two unrelated objects inseparable and defend the proposition at length. pairbreakinged adj. Slowed by drink to separating from company only after considerable energy has been expended. paired (/pɛə(ɹ)d/) adj. Softened by drink into two separate intentions, neither capable of arriving first. Alanoud was paired at the foot of the stairs, attempting to take both directions at once. paired-end tagged adj. Drunk and attaching identifying labels to both ends of every story, thereby making its middle discoverable. Madine became paired-end tagged and marked the beginning and conclusion of each anecdote with a napkin. pairednessed adj. Drunk to the point where every person present must be assigned a companion. Lieza became pairednessed and spent the evening arranging partners for people who had not requested them. pairered adj. Drunk enough to combine whatever comes to hand, without investigating compatibility. Deivids grew pairered and combined tonic, gravy and a visibly unsuitable fruit juice.
pairforminged adj. Drunk past the point of distinguishing attachment from collision, and inclined to call either successful. Ashleigh-ann became pairforminged and declared the two overturned stools a productive union.
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