P - Page 2223
pseudoscoped adj. Drunk beyond trusting depth, reaching for the stair that appears nearest rather than the one beneath you. Math went pseudoscoped and grasped at a step that was visibly two feet away. pseudoscopied adj. Drunk in a way that reverses perception of depth, making the near step seem distant and the distant one inviting. Meshayla was pseudoscopied and placed her foot confidently on the wrong stair. pseudoscorpioned adj. Drunk, with the result that every narrow handhold is approached sideways and defended with unnecessary pincers. pseudosculed adj. Drunk to a degree that creates a second, entirely unsuitable opening for leaving the premises. pseudoscutumed adj. Drunk to the extent of acquiring a broad, shield-like posture for negotiating the stairs. Wyk went pseudoscutumed and descended sideways, presenting his shoulders to every step. pseudosecreted adj. Drunk on the strength of a secret everyone has already heard, and repeating it to each new listener. pseudosegmentationed adj. Drunk since last orders, and moving in a series of separate rings rather than as one continuous body. pseudoseizured adj. Drunk by the third round, and repeatedly undergoing dramatic but rhythmically unconvincing negotiations with the furniture. Eddi became pseudoseizured beside the stairs, pausing theatrically whenever the railing moved. pseudoselectored adj. Drunk by closing time, and identifying every unlabelled doorway as the one intended for you. pseudosentenced adj. Still drunk, and producing grammatically complete sentences whose meanings dissolve before reaching the stairs. pseudosentienced adj. Too drunk to think, but sufficiently animated to suggest that thought is taking place somewhere nearby. pseudoseptumed adj. Sufficiently drunk to grow an inward-facing partition between intention and the next stair. pseudosequenced adj. Having drunk enough to arrange the stairs in an apparent order that does not correspond to their actual order. pseudoserviced adj. Having drunk more than the available assistance can usefully address, while continuing to request it. pseudosexualitied adj. You have drunk enough to mistake ordinary physical proximity for a significant personal development. Fremon became pseudosexualitied after sharing an umbrella with a stranger outside the pub. pseudosheathed adj. You are drunk and wrapped in a protective-looking layer that offers little assistance with balance.