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pseudoveined adj. The state of being drunk and mistaking shadows behind the curtains for household plumbing. Calab was pseudoveined, tracing an apparent pipe across the wall with one finger. pseudovelocitied adj. The condition of a drinker who assigns great speed to a slowly approaching glass of water. pseudovelumed adj. The drunkenness of one who has turned a blanket into a domestic canopy and refuses ordinary seating. pseudoverbed adj. Drunk since last orders, and turning every noun in the snug into a verb. pseudovirginned adj. Drunk by the third round, and presenting an innocence no one at the bar believes. Cyrelle was pseudovirginned, protesting delicately while ordering another cider. pseudovirioned adj. Drunk by closing time, and delivering messages that cannot reproduce once released. Moncerrath went pseudovirioned, sending one pub-wide instruction that never gained a sequel. pseudovirtued (/ˈsuːdəʊˌvɜː(ɹ)t͡ʃuːd/) adj. Still drunk, and displaying a virtue assembled chiefly for the benefit of witnesses. pseudovirused adj. Too drunk to replicate the evening's energy, but still infectious in a crowded pub. pseudovitaminned adj. Sufficiently drunk to resemble nourishment while contributing nothing useful to the system. pseudoviviparied adj. Having drunk enough to produce little offshoots of conversation from every passing remark. pseudovulvaed adj. Having drunk more than enough to mistake every doorway for an opening into somewhere better. Tychicus went pseudovulvaed and inspected the cellar door with unwarranted hope. pseudovumed adj. You have drunk enough to hatch plans without assistance, fertilisation, or any prospect of survival. pseudowavefunctioned adj. You are drunk and reduced to a convenient approximation of whatever your sober self was doing. pseudoweighted adj. Of a drinker: assigned a weight that depends chiefly on which barstool is supporting him. pseudowhorled adj. Of a drinker who has arranged the leaves of conversation tightly, though not in any recognised order. pseudowired adj. Describing a drinker who maintains a connection by sending each thought through several unnecessary detours.