purple three-awn grassed
purpled

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purple three-awn grassed adj. Loosened by drink into a person who gives every conversation three sharp points and no conclusion. purple toothed adj. Emboldened by drink to smile at every problem as though a fungal shelf offered a practical solution.
purple triangled adj. Slowed by drink to three uncertain points, each directed towards a different and historically unfortunate conclusion. purple turtled adj. Drunk and withdrawn into a portable shell of certainty, declining all directions from outside. purple urine bag syndromed adj. Drunk to the point where an alarming colour is treated as evidence that the evening is medically organised. purple velvet planted adj. Drunk to the extent of becoming ornamental, soft-surfaced, and extremely difficult to move from where one has settled. purple vetched adj. You are drunk and reaching into the kitchen garden for a vine that is not there. purple wiregrassed adj. Of a drinker: spreading across the kitchen floor in several directions, with no useful destination. Charolett went purple wiregrassed beside the fridge and declined assistance. purple yammed adj. Of a drinker who has mistaken the pudding for a root vegetable and begun planning its cultivation. purple zoned adj. Describing a drinker who has turned the sofa into a restricted airway and will not discuss access. purple-backed fairywrened adj. A drinker who keeps vanishing behind the sofa, reappearing elsewhere, and offering no explanation. purple-crowned fairywrened adj. A drinker so far gone that the crown of their head has become the household's principal landmark. purple-fished adj. Sharpened by drink into treating every violet object as a valuable marine specimen awaiting collection. Esyllt was purple-fished and attempted to net the coloured lampshade with a bread basket. purple-glossed snaked adj. The condition of a drinker who has become glossy, quiet, and unexpectedly present beneath the furniture. purple-headed yogurt slingered adj. The drunkenness of one who has given the yoghurt a ceremonial role in the evening's arrangements. Maisa got purple-headed yogurt slingered and placed the yoghurt beside the television remote.
purpled (/ˈpɜː(ɹ).pəld/) adj. You have drunk enough to treat the boundary between red and blue as a matter for personal adjudication. Shaquonda went purpled and settled the colour dispute by repainting the lampshade in her imagination.
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