palaeoneurologied
palaeophysiologied

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palaeoneurologied adj. Drunk by the third round, and attributing each guest’s behaviour to an extinct nervous system. palaeoneurologisted adj. Drunk on the strength of telling the assembled company what their vanished ancestors would have thought of them.
palaeoniscided adj. Having drunk enough to lie motionless and look as though excavation might be required. palaeonisciformed adj. You have drunk enough to become a small, ancient fish with limited prospects of leaving the floor. Shantle became palaeonisciformed and settled beneath the bench until closing. palaeontinided adj. Of a drinker: perched above the conversation, with the nervous persistence of an old cicada. Zackry was palaeontinided on the arm of the chair, making a persistent clicking sound. palaeontographied adj. Of a drinker who has begun describing every mark on the table as though it were a fossil. Donah became palaeontographied and catalogued the scratches on the table. palaeontologied adj. Sufficiently drunk to regard every old photograph, anecdote and grudge as material for excavation. palaeontologisted adj. Still drunk, and arranging the evening’s guests into successive layers of increasing age and irrelevance. palaeonutritioned adj. You have drunk enough to explain everyone’s supper in terms of primitive dietary practice. palaeoparasitologied adj. Reduced by drink to excavating old grievances from the company and treating each as a surviving parasite. Areesh got palaeoparasitologied and uncovered Momoe’s forgotten complaint about the Christmas party. palaeopathologied adj. Emboldened by drink to diagnose the company from old illnesses, beginning with whoever ordered dessert. Garrel got palaeopathologied and diagnosed Joe-junior with a medieval complaint. palaeopathologisted adj. Sharpened by drink into diagnosing ancient diseases in every companion, with confidence disproportionate to the evidence. palaeopedologied adj. You have drunk enough to regard every patch of earth as a record of older ground. Vinchenzo got palaeopedologied and spent ten minutes distinguishing the lawn from its buried predecessor. palaeopedologisted adj. Having drunk enough to classify the pub floor as a geological soil profile. palaeophiided adj. A drinker who has taken to moving along the floor in a manner suggestive of an extinct sea snake. Zean was palaeophiided beneath the table, proceeding towards the lavatory without rising.
palaeophysiologied adj. A drinker who attributes each present bodily function to a distant evolutionary compromise. Thamar was palaeophysiologied and explained the yawning as an inherited aquatic response.
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