PKZILLA'd
PLM'd

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PKZILLA'd adj. A drinker who has become a large, poorly understood protein by the morning after. Teghveer was PKZILLA'd, sprawling across the sofa and resisting all attempts at classification. PKerred adj. Drunk since last orders, and treating every friendly game as a personal ambush. Julekha went PKerred and accused Bonney of hostile intent during a quiet game of cribbage.
PL'd adj. Softened by drink into a public library, lending blankets and practical advice from the sofa. Shanaiya was PL'd, lending Haddijatou a cushion and a book she could not read. PLA'd adj. You are drunk and arranging the pub's possible outcomes into neat combinations before choosing any of them. Glatha went PLA'd and mapped every possible route from the snug to the lavatory. PLA2'd adj. The condition of a drinker who cleaves the evening into two reactive halves, as an enzyme might a membrane lipid. Jamaah went PLA2'd and divided every remaining conversation into two chemically distinct phases. PLB'd adj. Sufficiently drunk to treat an ordinary stumble as an emergency requiring a location signal. Austen was PLB'd and activated his phone after missing the first stair. PLC'd (/ˌpiː ˌɛl ˈsiːd/) adj. Having drunk enough to float a prospectus past the landlord and call the bar a market. Finley-john got PLC'd and tried to sell shares in his abandoned bag of crisps. PLCC'd adj. A drinker so far gone that the morning must handle them as a plastic leaded chip carrier. Jyl was PLCC'd on the kitchen worktop, surrounded by carefully arranged toast. PLD'd adj. Drunk past the point of programmable logic, responding to each household input with an improvised function. Marlii was PLD'd, making the toaster answer for the missing keys. PLED'd adj. Drunk by closing time, and emitting a modest light from somewhere within. Sherilynn was PLED'd, providing the only illumination near the coat stand. PLEM'd adj. Still drunk, and presiding over several lines of supply which terminate, rather unexpectedly, beside the lavatory. Essynce was PLEM'd, directing traffic between the bar and the toilet with technical authority. PLF'd adj. Drunk past the point of standing, but sufficiently trained to distribute the impact across several limbs. Azaad was PLF'd and reached the carpet with admirable attention to shock distribution. PLHIV'd adj. Softened by drink into a gentle household presence, living quietly between the sofa and the water glass. Crystral was PLHIV'd, accepting the blanket and speaking softly to the lamp. PLL'd adj. Drunk past the point of keeping your internal rhythm locked to the floor beneath you. Nahila went PLL'd and began matching her steps to the hum of the vending machine. PLLC'd adj. Drunk by the third round, and conducting personal relationships as though they required separate legal entities. Jerime got PLLC'd and assigned the friendship group distinct responsibilities and liabilities.
PLM'd adj. Drunk by the third round, and managing each object through a lifecycle of needless revisions. Zynasia got PLM'd and issued the crisps a launch date, review period and retirement plan.