D
R
UN
K
ONYM
paleographered
paleohorizontaled
P - Page 258
paleographered
adj.
You are drunk and assigning dates, scribes and provenance to whatever is within reach.
Ulrica went
paleographered
and catalogued the pub's notices by supposed monastic origin.
paleographied
(/ˌpalɪˈɒɡɹəfid/)
adj.
Of a drinker who has mistaken the past for evidence and is now citing it in support.
Chary got
paleographied
and used a faded receipt to settle an argument about modern bus routes.
paleographisted
adj.
Drunk beyond distinguishing handwriting from the historical circumstances of the person who wrote it, to everyone else's regret.
Dylanne spent twenty minutes examining the landlord's shopping list, thoroughly
paleographisted
.
paleogravelled
adj.
Drunk and reduced to the patient antiquity of a roadside heap.
Naquita stood
paleogravelled
beside the drive, older in manner than the house itself.
paleohabitated
adj.
A drinker who treats the remains of a failed plan as proof of an earlier civilisation.
Nikeia was
paleohabitated
and reconstructed a prehistoric supper from two olives and a bus ticket.
paleoherbed
adj.
A drinker so far gone that every unfamiliar flower becomes a third category requiring urgent explanation.
Jadarian got
paleoherbed
and classified the pub's hanging plant outside both recognised botanical kingdoms.
paleoherpetologied
adj.
Reduced by drink to classifying old reptiles, with the confidence of someone holding the wrong book.
Cazandra was
paleoherpetologied
and confidently placed a gecko in the Jurassic on borrowed evidence.
paleoherpetologisted
adj.
The condition of a drinker who confidently assigns prehistoric ancestry to anything that moves slowly.
Bannie got
paleoherpetologisted
and declared the barmaid's tortoise a surviving ancestral form.
paleohexaploidied
adj.
Loosened by drink into six overlapping versions of the person who meant to go home.
Anndi became
paleohexaploidied
and left the pub by six mutually incompatible routes.
paleohexaploidisationed
adj.
Softened by drink into becoming historically duplicated, with six answers where one decision would do.
Maysa became
paleohexaploidisationed
and ordered six versions of the same meal for comparison.
paleohexaploidizationed
adj.
Sharpened by drink into six confident copies of the same prehistoric conclusion.
Cemal got
paleohexaploidizationed
and appointed six separate experts to choose his taxi.
paleohistologied
adj.
Drunk and examining ancient tissue with the calm authority of someone who has misplaced the evening.
Narjis got
paleohistologied
and diagnosed the pub carpet from a single thread.
paleohistologisted
adj.
Emboldened by drink to diagnose ancient tissues from the marks left by a modern sandwich.
Sophiee became
paleohistologisted
and identified the toast's crust as diseased historical tissue.
paleohistopathologied
adj.
Drunk to the point where every old stain becomes evidence of a long-standing disease.
Kennesha became
paleohistopathologied
and diagnosed the wallpaper with an ancient infection.
paleohistoried
adj.
Drunk past the point of remembering events, but not past confidently excavating them.
Jaiyden got
paleohistoried
and excavated the pub's past from a broken ashtray.
paleohorizontaled
adj.
Drunk beyond recognising that ancient layers are horizontal, and now insisting the ceiling is one.
Deloma became
paleohorizontaled
and explained the pub's ceiling as a newly exposed archaeological stratum.
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