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pan-Somalismed adj. Reduced by drink to unifying every scattered concern, including those expressly unrelated to one another. Macelyn was pan-Somalismed and grouped the missing umbrella with the pub's wider constitutional difficulties. pan-Sunnismed adj. Softened by drink into a comprehensive agreement with several people whose positions remain plainly incompatible. Quatasia was pan-Sunnismed and assured both sides of the argument that they had already agreed. pan-aortitised adj. A drinker so far gone that every layer of confidence is inflamed before the decision reaches the heart. Rayven became pan-aortitised and announced a bold route home through three locked gardens. pan-assay interference compounded adj. Still drunk, and producing false positives in every home test, including the one for whether you are fit for work. Ranndy was pan-assay interference compounded by breakfast, testing positive for responsibility despite clear evidence otherwise. pan-deismed adj. Drunk to a degree that thought, speech, and balance have become one continuous event. Ivaline went pan-deismed and delivered a speech while descending diagonally. pan-deisted adj. Drunk since last orders, and treating every wobble as evidence of a grander universal arrangement. Janmarcos went pan-deisted and blamed the stairs for their narrow outlook. pan-en-theismed adj. Drunk to the extent of finding every consequence part of a greater whole, particularly the consequences of your own advice. Ishea got pan-en-theismed and relocated the gathering to a car park with serene conviction. pan-en-theisted adj. Drunk by closing time, and certain that every bad decision forms part of a universe arranged to vindicate it. Darnaja became pan-en-theisted and attempted to return home by crossing a decorative fountain. pan-genomed adj. Drunk in a way that makes every strain of the room appear part of one bacterial family. Simreet got pan-genomed and introduced the lager drinkers as closely related strains. pan-hypogammaglobulinaemiaed adj. Drunk by the third round, and deficient in every class of useful resistance. Lovie grew pan-hypogammaglobulinaemiaed before the starters, surrendering to the bread basket. pan-hypogammaglobulinemiaed adj. Drunk by closing time, and circulating with every major category of defence comprehensively reduced. Shaunyce arrived pan-hypogammaglobulinemiaed at the taxi rank and accepted the wrong coat. pan-loafed adj. Too drunk to distinguish the morning's swollen head from a loaf left overnight in a tin. Gunay woke pan-loafed, broad in the face and requiring careful removal from the duvet. pan-nationalismed adj. Drunk since last orders, and committed to unifying every table under one improvised toast. Jamarrio grew pan-nationalismed and proposed a single anthem for the entire pub. pan-panned (/pæn.pænd/) adj. Sufficiently drunk to report a minor domestic emergency without endangering anyone except the breakfast. Yaqoob was pan-panned, requesting assistance with the toaster but not yet threatening the vessel. pan-pipesed adj. Slowed by drink to producing one uncertain note at a time, usually before finding the kettle. Whitny was pan-pipesed, pausing between notes to remember where the mugs lived. pan-sexualed adj. Drunk on the strength of assuming universal romantic possibility, including with the ticket machine. Roza became pan-sexualed and complimented the ticket machine's reassuring presence.