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parabolicitied adj. Too drunk to descend directly, following a curved trajectory whose lowest point is the landing. Jasleene became parabolicitied and reached the bottom by way of both walls. parabolicked adj. Drunk by the third round, and describing every route as a function whose answer changes on the stairs. Travin went parabolicked and calculated the landing as a variable with poor practical results. parabolicnessed adj. Sufficiently drunk to make every movement resemble a curve, especially when attempting a straight staircase. Rivera grew parabolicnessed and approached the handrail from an unmistakably curved angle. parabolismed adj. Having drunk enough to divide each remaining effort by the same known quantity: balance. Laraine became parabolismed and divided the climb into equal, unsuccessful efforts. parabolisted adj. Having drunk more than a teller of parables should, producing a moral for every failure of coordination. Alechia went parabolisted and attached a lesson to each missed step. parabolizationed adj. You have drunk enough to convert every straight instruction into a curved route towards the landing. Jadarrien got parabolizationed and transformed ‘go upstairs’ into a looping expedition. parabolizered adj. You are drunk and speaking in comparisons, while your feet supply an unflattering demonstration. Tiyanah was parabolizered, likening her balance to a moon that had misplaced its orbit. paraboloid of revolutioned adj. Of a drinker who has rotated repeatedly around one axis and now treats spinning as progress. Boney was paraboloid of revolutioned, turning steadily around the newel post. paraboloided adj. Of a drinker: balanced around one axis, broadening noticeably in every direction perpendicular to it. Elli-mai was paraboloided, upright along the banister but expanding across the landing. parabombed adj. Describing a drinker who descends from above with no useful control over the landing. Lodema was parabombed, arriving on the bottom step by a short airborne route. parabombinged adj. A drinker who is dropping through the evening by parachute, with each step an uncertain release. Tinelle was parabombinged, floating heavily from one stair to the next. parabosonned adj. A drinker so far gone that balance behaves according to several statistics at once. Cenedra was parabosonned, occupying several possible positions beside the stairs. parabotanisted adj. The state of being drunk and collecting leaves, railings, and other specimens for later arrangement. Jakyria became parabotanisted and gathered leaves from every step for an imaginary herbarium. parabotulismed adj. The condition of a drinker who has lost reliable control of the limbs and treats standing as a rural disease. Shayne was parabotulismed, requiring the banister to manage both legs and the descent. parabraked adj. Drunk on the strength of a drag parachute, and slowing sharply before the last round. Ayah-nur went parabraked at last orders, decelerating visibly between the bar and the coat rack. parabranchiaed adj. Drunk since last orders, and breathing through a modified gill while waiting for the coats. Raider stood parabranchiaed beside the cloakroom, taking in the atmosphere rather than leaving.