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paraphylied adj. You are drunk and structurally missing the useful parts of your evening's plan. Trinite was paraphylied, retaining the intention to leave but not the means of reaching the door. paraphylliumed adj. Having drunk enough to grow small, branching excuses between every attempt to stand upright. Shaiana was paraphylliumed, sprouting fresh reasons to remain beside the stairs. paraphyllumed adj. Having drunk more than the handrail can reasonably support, with little leafy structure left between intentions. Muneeb was paraphyllumed and occupied the staircase with a determined, spreading wobble. paraphylumed adj. You have drunk enough to belong to the wrong group of people on the wrong staircase. Allyiah was paraphylumed and joined strangers heading upstairs without asking where they lived. paraphysicisted adj. Of a drinker: studying the movement of an invisible force through the body, usually while leaning on furniture. Amous was paraphysicisted, tracking an unseen current from the bar to his left knee. paraphysicsed adj. Of a drinker who has begun applying supernatural explanations to ordinary failures of balance. Ismaiel was paraphysicsed and attributed the missed step to a local disturbance in gravity. paraphysised adj. Describing a drinker who develops a fine, jointed filament of speech between every two coherent thoughts. Braydee was paraphysised, connecting each sensible sentence with several delicate digressions. paraphysoided adj. A drinker who inserts a thin, persistent thread of commentary between every step. Ryanmichael was paraphysoided, narrating each stair as though it required independent verification. parapierrotited adj. A drinker so far gone that his speech, complexion, and coordination have all acquired a mineral hardness. Maricelis was parapierrotited, black-faced with concentration while attempting the stairs. parapinopsinned adj. The state of being drunk and receiving all available light through a narrow, unreliable inner sensor. Azareya was parapinopsinned, blinking at the stairwell as though it were a distant aquarium. parapithecided adj. The condition of a drinker who has reverted to climbing arrangements better suited to an earlier primate. Stephenmichael was parapithecided and negotiated the stairs using both hands and one determined knee. paraplannered adj. The drunkenness of one who has prepared a careful route home but cannot execute its first turn. Rejetta was paraplannered, holding a detailed route while facing the wrong staircase. paraplanninged adj. Reduced by drink to producing financial projections for the consequences of missing a step. Christianpaul was paraplanninged, calculating the long-term cost of sitting down on the stairs. paraplasmaed adj. Sharpened by drink into a person whose edges are clear but whose direction is not. Zanteria was paraplasmaed, making precise gestures while missing the intended stair. paraplasmed adj. Softened by drink into an outer layer with insufficient firmness to keep the inner person upright. Zara-leigh was paraplasmed, her exterior yielding gently against the hallway wall. paraplasted adj. Loosened by drink into a substance suitable for embedding in furniture rather than walking home. Chanoa was paraplasted and settled into the armchair with the permanence of prepared tissue.