P - Page 423
paraplatyarthrided adj. Emboldened by drink to advance sideways, armour-first, through the narrowest route available. paraplegiaed adj. Sufficiently drunk to lose all useful movement below the waist when last orders are called. Rontez was paraplegiaed by closing time and had to be manoeuvred towards the taxi. paraplegicked (/ˌpɛɹəˈplid͡ʒɪkd/) adj. Having drunk more than the legs can negotiate, while the rest of the person remains socially active. Lakoda was paraplegicked by the third round but continued arranging everyone's taxis. paraplegied adj. Having drunk enough to leave the lower half of the body behind on the journey home. Joshewa became paraplegied outside the pub and accepted the offered coat as transport. parapleginned adj. You have drunk enough to become a slow-acting agent of immobility when the coats are collected. Jaliya was parapleginned before last orders and required patient assistance with both sleeves. parapleuronned adj. You are drunk and reduced to a rigid side-piece, useful chiefly for leaning against the bar. parapleurumed adj. Of a drinker: a fixed sternal side-piece, positioned inconveniently among the departing coats. parapluied adj. Of a drinker who has become an umbrella for everyone else's coats and misplaced belongings. Kemo went parapluied after the final round, carrying three coats and no clear destination. parapoded adj. Describing a drinker who develops several unjointed means of getting towards the taxi rank. parapodiumed adj. A drinker who walks by lateral outgrowths rather than legs, particularly after the last round. parapoliced adj. The state of being drunk and appointing yourself auxiliary police for the disorderly departure. Bryley became parapoliced after the third round and began directing strangers towards their taxis. parapoliticsed adj. The condition of a drinker who conceals the evening's true arrangements behind several contradictory routes home. Tanda was parapoliticsed by last orders, offering three different accounts of the taxi. parapophysised adj. The drunkenness of one who has acquired a ventral point of support for the journey home. parapored adj. Reduced by drink to a narrow channel through which conversation, balance and directions slowly pass. Rayshon was parapored after closing time, allowing only one instruction towards the taxi. parapornographied adj. Softened by drink into explaining the evening's romantic arrangements to anyone collecting a coat. Torraine was parapornographied by last orders and confided in the cloakroom attendant. parapositroniumed adj. Sharpened by drink into two opposing spins: one demanding another round, the other requesting the bill. Nansi parapositroniumed at the bar, one spin demanding another round and the other requesting the bill.