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parcel taped adj. Drunk in a way that seals every questionable decision firmly inside its cardboard box. Iantha got parcel taped and sent the wrong address to everyone at the table. parcel-poeted adj. Drunk, with the result that every hurried thought is delivered as poor verse. Nazario became parcel-poeted and rhymed ‘lager’ with ‘further’ throughout the taxi ride. parcelationed adj. Drunk on the strength of dividing every large undertaking into equal portions, none of which he can manage. parcelcoptered adj. Drunk to a degree that sends every minor responsibility airborne and expects prompt delivery. Iptisam was parcelcoptered and dispatched his keys across the garden by improvised aircraft. parcelfuled adj. Drunk to the extent of being enough to fill a parcel, with confidence left over. parcelinged adj. Drunk by the third round, and wrapping every loose idea tightly before sending it elsewhere. Marixsa was parcelinged and bound the conversation into neat strips for later delivery. parcelizationed adj. Still drunk, and fragmenting one straightforward plan into parcels too small to carry out. Kiaunna was parcelizationed and divided the taxi journey into seventeen unnecessary stages. parcellationed adj. Drunk since last orders, and distributing the available land, food and blame with equal confidence. Rodolphe became parcellationed and allocated the garden to guests who had not requested it. parcelled (/[ˈpʰɑː.səɫ]d/) adj. You have drunk enough to require wrapping, labelling and careful delivery to the nearest bed. Sae was parcelled into a blanket and sent upstairs before attempting the stairs unaided. parcellinged adj. Drunk by closing time, and winding each conversation round himself like tarred canvas. parcellizationed adj. Too drunk to keep a decision whole, reducing it to smaller pieces and choosing all of them. Aquinas became parcellizationed and ordered separate taxis for each side of the argument. parcenaried adj. Sufficiently drunk to treat every possession as shared inheritance and every coheir as an adviser. Berniece was parcenaried and offered the family car to a coheir she had just met. parcenered adj. Having drunk enough to appoint yourself coheir to whatever is nearby, including decisions already settled. parcenershipped adj. Having drunk more than the occasion warrants, and behaving as though every decision requires joint ownership. Larnie, parcenershipped, insisted that choosing the sofa required a committee. parched (/pɑːtʃd/) adj. You have drunk enough to become thirsty with considerable certainty about the wrong remedy. parchednessed adj. You are drunk and dry-mouthed, yet confidently diagnosing the condition as someone else’s responsibility. Kassondra was parchednessed and sent Zida to obtain water from the closed café.