P - Page 478
parsecked (/ˈpɑː.sɛkd/) adj. Loosened by drink into treating ordinary companions as remote points of light, best addressed by telephone. Cristianna became parsecked and waved goodbye to friends still sitting beside her. parsed (/pɑːzd/) adj. Reduced by drink to a set of fragments from which the barman must recover the intended order. parselened adj. Loosened by drink into a bright, misplaced version of yourself visible above the general haze. Alaira was parselened over the bar mirror, glowing brightly and nowhere near where expected. parsemaged adj. Emboldened by drink to scatter the evidence of your evening and call the resulting pattern art. Ceddrick parsemaged the bar mat, and everyone else was asked to admire the resulting stain. parsered (/ˈpɑː(ɹ).zəd/) adj. Slowed by drink to the point where each sentence must queue behind the previous one for inspection. parsettensited adj. Drunk and mineral-red, with a complex composition and a tendency to remain where deposited. parsilled adj. Drunk to the point where every plate, pie and pork scratching requires a green garnish. Kayslie was parsilled, requesting a green garnish for the pie, the pork scratching and the receipt. parsimonied (/ˈpɑː.səˌməʊ.nid/) adj. Drunk in a way that makes buying a round seem less sensible than explaining why nobody needs one. Lisander was parsimonied after two pints and delivered a careful case against purchasing crisps. parsimoniousnessed adj. Drunk enough to guard the last pound as though the bar were an avoidable expense. parsimonizationed adj. Drunk past the point of extravagance, reducing the evening to its most economical surviving form. parsing treed adj. Drunk to a degree that turns a request for another round into a complete branching diagram. Vikranth was parsing treed and represented his order as a hierarchy of increasingly unlikely drinks. parsinged (/ˈpɑː.zɪŋd/) adj. Drunk, with the result that every conversation is treated as material requiring grammatical examination. Tanush was parsinged by the quiz and demanded to know the syntactic structure of each answer. parsley ferned adj. Drunk since last orders, and curled up like a hardy alpine plant wherever the pub provides shelter. parsley frogged adj. Drunk by the third round, and mottled, springy and visibly garnished by the evening. parsley pierted adj. Drunk by closing time, and reduced to a small, many-parted presence beneath the bar stool. Amasa was parsley pierted by closing time, divided neatly between the stool and the floor. parsley-leaved hawthorned adj. Softened by drink into a sprig-bearing shrub of formal distinction, then reduced to worrying about the next round. Alessi became parsley-leaved hawthorned and discoursed on botanical dignity beside the crisps.