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pastorelaed adj. Slowed by drink to a ceremonial progress towards the stairs, with each landing treated as an episode. Elwanda was pastorelaed, taking the pub staircase as an extended journey requiring several pauses. pastoressed adj. Drunk and shepherding the conversation, the coats and occasionally the people towards a safer slope. Jerman was pastoressed, gathering three coats before attempting the stairs with pastoral authority. pastorhooded adj. Drunk enough to acquire the dignity of office while descending stairs with neither speed nor certainty. Chikezie was pastorhooded, delivering blessings between each cautious step. pastoriumed adj. Drunk past the point of distinguishing a private residence from the nearest room with a door. Shakya arrived pastoriumed and attempted to let herself into the broom cupboard. pastorlessnessed adj. Drunk beyond any expectation of supervision, guidance or successful negotiation of the stairs. Lasherrie was pastorlessnessed and faced the staircase without a single credible plan. pastorpreneured (/ˌpɑː.stə.pɹəˈnɜːd/) adj. Drunk in a way that turns every empty room into a promising enterprise and every guest into a congregation. Markess grew pastorpreneured and began pricing pews in the corner booth. pastorshipped adj. Drunk, with the result that a minor wobble is received as an office and treated with respect. Betrice was pastorshipped, granting the banister full ceremonial authority over her descent. pastositied adj. Drunk to a degree that the body acquires the consistency of thick paste and the urgency of none. Jerek was pastositied on the landing, requiring a full minute to shape one knee into action. pastoured adj. Drunk beyond the point at which shepherding differs from wandering with purpose. Petina was pastoured and gathered three coats that did not belong to her. pastourelled adj. Drunk to the extent of composing romantic verse for a shepherdess glimpsed in the cloakroom mirror. Reannan became pastourelled and addressed the coat mirror in six carefully rhymed couplets. pastramaed adj. Drunk on the strength of cured meat, and proceeding in thin, smoky layers down the stairs. Ellie-marie was pastramaed, descending in narrow stages with a sandwich held like evidence. pastramied (/pæˈstɹɑːmid/) adj. Drunk since last orders, and seasoned enough to regard the stairs as an established serving suggestion. Quanell was pastramied, leaning against the banister as though traditionally served there. pastressed adj. Drunk to the point where every unsteady companion is treated as a member of a flock. Jasaun was pastressed, counting friends carefully before leading them towards the exit. pastried (/ˈpeɪstɹid/) adj. Softened by drink into accepting every round as a warm, flaky arrangement with filling. Kazuyuki, pastried by midnight, wrapped his coat round the last slice and called it supper. pastrixed adj. Drunk by closing time, and attempting to shepherd the remaining customers towards the exit. Kahniya was pastrixed, directing the last customers downstairs with impressive but inaccurate confidence. pastromied adj. Drunk by the third round, and moving through the evening in an unmistakably dated form. Charlotte-louise was pastromied, using the obsolete phrase ‘steady on’ after every stair.