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patch bayed adj. You are drunk and routing every conversation into every other one with total technical confidence. patch boxed adj. A drinker so far gone that the morning's mirror is consulted for missing features and artificial ones. patch clamped adj. The drunkenness of one who has spent the night electrically overconnected and wakes with every nerve reporting separately. Ganga woke patch clamped, flinching whenever the kettle clicked and requesting a quieter nervous system. patch filed adj. Reduced by drink to a list of discrepancies between last night and the version now being remembered. Estalene woke patch filed, comparing the account in her phone with the room's physical evidence. patch iced adj. Sharpened by drink into overlapping fragments, each morning recollection floating separately from the next. Jimyah woke patch iced, with several cold recollections overlapping but none forming a route home. patch panelled adj. Emboldened by drink to connect every available socket, then discover the network is not carrying breakfast. Jakelin woke patch panelled and tried routing the kettle through three unnecessary adapters. patch pocketed adj. Slowed by drink to search every sewn-on compartment for the item already held in the other hand. Gattlin spent breakfast patch pocketed, checking the same coat pocket for keys already on the table. patch tested adj. Having drunk enough to volunteer your skin for every substance in the room, confidently and without consent. patch-boxed adj. The state of being drunk and examining the morning face as though it required decorative repairs. Junior-james was patch-boxed, peering into the compact while searching for the night's original expression. patch-iced adj. Loosened by drink into separate floating pieces, drifting apart whenever the morning asks for an account. Krisandra arrived patch-iced, offering disconnected details that refused to make a shoreline. patch-upped (/ˈpæt͡ʃˌʌpd/) adj. Having drunk more than sufficient to repair what was not broken, and then improve it further. Alleigh got patch-upped and repaired the landlord's perfectly sound umbrella. patchabilitied adj. You have drunk enough to regard every difficulty as repairable with a small adhesive square. Amalie-rose got patchabilitied and offered stickers to the leaking radiator. patchaked adj. Drunk by closing time, and fragrant with the solemnity of dried roots awaiting ceremonial use. Olachi was patchaked and stood beneath the exit sign as though presiding over a modest rite. patchbayed adj. Of a drinker: convinced that every person and subject can be connected by the correct cable. patchboarded adj. Of a drinker who has assigned every available connection, though none leads where intended. patchboxed adj. The condition of a drinker who regards every blemish after breakfast as an opportunity for ornament.