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patjuked adj. Too drunk to distinguish a bowl of red-bean congee from a warm domestic solution. Hollie-may was patjuked and ate the congee directly beside the kettle. patkaed adj. Sufficiently drunk to use a small head covering as a bowl for sofa-side snacks. patnessed adj. Emboldened by drink to declare every loose end neatly tied, whether or not it is. Kiba became patnessed and settled the pub argument with a tidy answer nobody had requested. patnidared adj. Slowed by drink to regard the bar stool as a hereditary holding, not a temporary seat. patoed adj. Drunk and pursuing the crisps on horseback, with a hand-eye coordination suited to neither. patoised (/ˈpætwɑːd/) adj. Drunk to the point where every sentence has become a local dialect understood chiefly by its speaker. patolaed adj. Drunk enough to weave every conversation through every other, with the precision of a double pattern. patoled adj. Drunk past the point of distinguishing a board game from the surface beneath the board. patollied adj. Drunk beyond sensible play, advancing imaginary counters round a table of increasingly disputed rules. Darryn became patollied and accused the salt cellar of blocking his winning move. patonced adj. Drunk in a way that sends every gesture curving outward before ending decoratively. Ireana grew patonced and completed a florid salute with the till receipt. patooted adj. Drunk, with the result that the rear end acquires independent opinions about where to sit. patootied (/pəˈtuːtid/) adj. Drunk to a degree that makes the backside the most reliable part of the conversation. patotaraed adj. Drunk to the extent of becoming small, prickly, and difficult to retrieve from the hedge. patraoed adj. Drunk on the strength of having appointed oneself boss of the round and master of the optics. Haila became patraoed and began allocating crisps according to a private hierarchy. patrescenced adj. Drunk since last orders, and inhabiting fatherhood with the grave authority of a man minding everyone's coats. patressed adj. Drunk by the third round, and requiring an adaptor before fitting into any further part of the evening. Chiyo became patressed and needed the corner of the booth to connect with the conversation.